Why do I only think of him with her

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Why do I only think of him with her
1
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:43pm

It's been 2 weeks since our break up. Two weeks ago that he told me after 5 years that he has found someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 12:47am

Hi jbro,


I dont mean to be blunt but you got to lay off the calls. Nothing pushes a guy even further than bunch of phone calls. I know you feel good, but remember it is just a fix. I read this book where they say 'love is really like an addiction'. I know you loved him and still do, but if he found a girlfriend and wants to go the other way, nothing will push him away more than you calling and still fixing his ego. I am not saying he is not all the things you said about him. May be he is, just right now, you are not helping yourself. I know it hurts like hell..imagining him with someone else, but unless you take some step to just step back, give it a break and focus on something else, your wound will not heal. So write down all those things, maybe send a letter but that's it. If it does turn out he wants back in, let him do the calling. I was reading dr phil's website and it said 'the more time you focus on thinking about someone else is more time you are taking away from yourself, to get on with your life and to find the true person you possibly can'.


It does hurt not to talk to him, believe me, I go through it almost everyday..I just have to remember some of the not so glorious things about him and put things in perspective. Take care of yourself.