please read and help if you can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
please read and help if you can.
4
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 10:38am

I have been seriously dating someone for a year. we both have a small child from a previous marriage. as time in our relationship progressed, his ex wife became a heavy burden on our relationship. she would call a ton of times

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 11:19am

Wow i am so sorry you are going through this right now with christmas right around the corner the plans you both proabably had together.


My advise, i

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 11:38am

thank you so much for your response. the irony is, his mother is a PhD therapist! go figure! but he has never been to therapy before, even after the demise of his marriage.


One thing that really upset me, is he kept saying that had he paid attention to the red flags when he was dating his wife, he wouldn't be where he was today. i think he is so focused on "finding the flags" that he views any stress, tension or disagreements as red flags he should be paying attention to.


i have never been broken up with like this. how does it usually work? do they usually call? do they just pretend you died?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 1:05pm

I think he knew he had to end it and he also knew that he wasn't strong enough to do it face to face because he does care about you and wants it to work on some level, so sending the text was what he felt he needed to do in order to end it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 9:23pm

Welcome to the board talksthetalk,


::My question is, after a year of serious dating, kids being best friends, etc, how do you just send a text like that and think its okay? did he think i would just dissapear? never contact him again? do you think he is thinking through things at his parents and I might hear from him at some point?


He did what he could cope with and didn't consider your feelings. My guess is that he's hoping you will be the one to decide and do what you need to do. Sorry you are going through this.


Merry Christmas.