I think that the best way to go into No Contact is to do it for yourself. Not as a tool or a hopeful mentality that will have you thinking this will bring back the person. In my experience NO CONTACT is the best way to get clarity and to start healing oneself in order to make the best decision for ONESELF.
Its hard as hell. And it's so hard to understand how the one person you talk to two to three times a day, said good night to, called when you had good/bad news and just was a constant, is suddenly no longer "allowed" to be on your call list. But this is where detaching the bond must come in. :(
Good luck to you!
ps Two weeks NO CONTACT and feeling better then day 1.
Well, I've never been to this particular board, but as I sit in a hotel just minutes from my house, I have to say, been there, done, that, and a resounding YES, (at least for me)... it made him want to come back all right. Did it change him? No, hence the hotel room.
When I left my husband last year, my therapist was concerned about the verbal abuse I had been taking. These were the rules she said I should make. #1. No physical contact. #2. No verbal contact. #3. Written contact only if he would seek counseling for why he was so angry and he had to be nice. Otherwise, zip.
Well, needless to say, he did seek counseling, was nice, and we did get back together. His verbal abuse was due to "his having to deal with my 7 year illness". Now, he says his verbal abuse is due to his depression. He
I think that the best way to go into No Contact is to do it for yourself.
Not as a tool or a hopeful mentality that will have you thinking this will bring back the person.
In my experience NO CONTACT is the best way to get clarity and to start healing oneself in order to make the best decision for ONESELF.
Its hard as hell. And it's so hard to understand how the one person you talk to two to three times a day, said good night to, called when you had good/bad news and just was a constant, is suddenly no longer "allowed" to be on your call list.
But this is where detaching the bond must come in. :(
Good luck to you!
ps Two weeks NO CONTACT and feeling better then day 1.
Well, I've never been to this particular board, but as I sit in a hotel just minutes from my house, I have to say, been there, done, that, and a resounding YES, (at least for me)... it made him want to come back all right. Did it change him? No, hence the hotel room.
When I left my husband last year, my therapist was concerned about the verbal abuse I had been taking. These were the rules she said I should make. #1. No physical contact. #2. No verbal contact. #3. Written contact only if he would seek counseling for why he was so angry and he had to be nice. Otherwise, zip.
Well, needless to say, he did seek counseling, was nice, and we did get back together. His verbal abuse was due to "his having to deal with my 7 year illness". Now, he says his verbal abuse is due to his depression. He