Ex is dating-divorced 12-4
Find a Conversation
Ex is dating-divorced 12-4
| Wed, 12-26-2007 - 4:04pm |
Hi, just need some advice and help, (sorry so much info-lots to cover)
My ex and I had been married 10 years, and have a 4 year old daughter. We have had many times or stress and struggle, he also made comments that he thinks marriage is a bad idea because it makes people not work as hard in the relationship, they let themselves go etc. they

Welcome to the board when3became1,
You don't have to be friends with either of them at this time.
What a predicament. Seriously, whenever I think I somehow have it bad, someone comes along with a situation much more mind-boggling. Anyway, huge hugs to you, this is a big load to carry.
Here's the thing of it, though: What makes you think Sarah had any idea of what your ex-h was thinking? I mean, he's obviously a selfish cad, an emotionally stunted adolescent. Do you know for sure that Sarah knew about this all along? And once she found out what said cad thinks, do you really think she'd go along with it? The mind reels.
Open and honest communication is one thing, but to go to your newly-divorced wife and ask what she thinks about you dating her best friend---- mamma mia. Is he touched in the head or something, or just on some really strong drugs? All I can say is what an a-hole. You're being mean and selfish? YOU? Holy moly, I wish I was nearby to whack him with the stupid stick because that is one jack who really deserves it. The sheer audacity of his position-- I'm still shaking my head. I'm thinking Narcissist. Look it up in some psychology website.
You're not actually obligated to want to see him happy. I got news for ya. You can simply be civil to him because of your child together, but that's all you're actually obligated to do. How do you act with your friend, well, have a talk with her, make sure you don't tell the ex about it ahead of time, as he may ambush the whole thing. But be honest with her, woman to woman.
I do believe there are singles outings groups in the Dallas area, most major cities have them. And it's not necessarily a meat-market, you can simply go and meet new people-- men AND women-- for companionship and friendship, froup outings. And that's all, you also don't have to date if you don't want.
To be honest with you, it truthfully takes lots longer than just a few months to get over a divorce. Women sometimes do this too, but mostly it's men who do an awesome job of avoiding all emotional fallout from broken relationships, especially divorces, by jumping into the first pseudo-relationship that comes along. They jump out of them just as quick. Usually the devastation left behind from the rebound relationship is pretty catastrophic. If your friend has any brain in her, she'll steer clear of your ex-husband, as right now he's definitely BAD dating potential. In light of what youv'e said about him in this post, I'd say he's horrible relationship material period.
Lucky you got away from that, and once you do some healing and soul-searching, can now go and find your true mate because this one wasn't him, believe me.
All the best,
Hi there
Firstly I just want to say that my heart goes out to you.
Thank you so much for you guidance and info, sadly I look back and think Sarah did know. On Christmas Eve I sat at the top of the stairs as I saw her car pull up. He greeted her at the front door and said hello and then I heard him say something like "I told her and she did not take it well" and her response was "GGRREEAAAAT" with kind