i need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
i need advice
1
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 10:47pm
i met this guy a couple months ago and we quickly became inseperable. he goes away to school, but when he was home each weekend, we would spend every day togther. and when he was at school, we were talking almost constantly. i fell for him quickly which is something i never do. he was exactly my type and we had everything in common. there really wasn't a thing i didn't like about him. what i liked most was i was myself around him, we were able to talk about almost anything and he could really keep a conversation. i got along with his friends too, and i didn't mind having them around. i loved being with him, what ever we were doing. we were together for only four months which isn't even really a long time but i never found myself so happy with someone. then, he comes back for break a couple weeks ago, and decides he wants to end things because "we don't see each other enough". i know that's not the only reason because why would he worry about not seeing me when he's able to see me this whole month? and plus, his school wasn't even far away. i'd picked him up before and it's only about an hour. and i would have no problem going to see him or picking him up or just seeing him for the day, whenever. he says he wants to be friends (cliche) and he wishes he lived closer so it would work. but i'm certain it could work either way, and i don't get how he doesn't see it and why he didn't want to try. he says he "just can't be in anything right now and he doesn't know why", but i don't believe it because i'm almost 100% sure he's already moved on to this girl from his school. it just hurts because i feel that there's so much undone between us and i really didn't see this coming. we were supposed to meet for coffee and talk the other day, but i figured i'm not going to try to call him and make sure we're still going, and if he wants to see me he'll be the one to contact me. we haven't talked in a couple days and it's just so different not having him to talk to or be with. i know i should just move on if he has, but i honestly do not see one person to move on to. i'm a picky person, and i feel like i don't want to get close to a guy unless we have things in common. and i am certain that there's not one guy in my small town that i have as much in common with than i had with him. sometimes i think positive about it and think that i don't need anyone to be happy, but seriously everything reminds me of him. and i miss being close to somebody and having somebody to tell everything to. i keep having dreams that we're back together, and that sounds cliche but i wake up and it just makes my day horrible. i'm just hoping he'll realize what he let go. i've been thinking about contacting him and letting him know that i do just want to be friends, and whatever he's in now, i'm not going to try to get in the way of. i want to be able to see him at least and even if we can't be together i still want to have someone like him to talk to. i figure we got along so well in the past why can't we still, even if it's just as friends. but then again i'm not sure if i should do that, and if i should just stop talking to him all together to help myself get over him. i know that's going to be really hard and it'll be a reallly long time until i meet someone like him again.

what should i do to get over him? and should i even bother saying anything to him, or will it make me look more weak? i can't stop thinking about all of this :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
In reply to: zil232
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 11:34pm

I can relate to what you are going thru, I am 21 and in college.


IMHO, you need to let this guy go. Don't contact him, it will only push him farther away. If he doens't hear from you, then he can decide if he misses you and he will contact you. Be strong- you deserve someone who WANTS to be with you.


It is possible he has met someone at school. Long distance relationships are tough. i just ended a 3 year LDR and we were also just a little more than an hour apart in college, and had been together since high school and had a really close relationship. We had plans of marrying after college graduation, the whole 9 yards.