after 6 years he needs a big change
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after 6 years he needs a big change
| Sat, 12-29-2007 - 3:11am |
He broke up with me 15 days before Christmas. I didn't see it coming. I've had a bad year and this tops it off. I had

Hi seafever,
The pain you feel and have felt building up from several different events this past year is very real and I feel badly for you that you've been facing so much. I know that even surrounded by friends, you probably feel very alone in your burden. It would be nice to have someone around to share your troubles with and the person who fit that bill for you has decided he can't be there anymore. I'm very sorry.
Six years is a long time, long enough to enmesh your lives together to the point where you're maybe unsure how to go it alone anymore, but you really have to use this time in orer to re-learn how to do that. Or maybe you've never had to face something on your own and don't realize you can, but you can. We all can, some of us just aren't aware of what we can truly tackle in life until we actualy come face to face with it. We're never dealt a hand we can't handle, of that you can be sure, but when we're first dealing with it, we don't know what we're capable of and so it seems too much, too harsh, too unfair. Have faith that you *can* handle it, it will simply take some time and effort.
You will eventually love again (mark those words) but of course you don't see that feeling the way you do today, sad and lonely. It's important for you to move through that pain, heal your heart so you can begin to see and experience life the way it was truly intended for you, which is nowhere near what it feels like now, so that you can *then* meet someone to share your life with. Something in the tone of your post ells me that maybe you were leaning on your partner possibly a bit too much, hoping that he would carry your load for a while. While it would be nice for that to happen, others, even our loves can only help us, no one can do it for us. It's too much. I know it may be too soon to be talking about lessons, but relationships are always huge lessons, and I can see that aside from learning your own inner strength, this is also major one for you now.
A few things to help:
How to Get Over Your Breakup
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21185.1
Zen of Doing Nothing
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21173.1
Letting Go of a Broken Relationship
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=24239.1
Best of luck, keep posting.
Thank You!!! Sandra. Those links were extremely helpful, especially the one on the Zen of doing nothing. I'm feel better and have learned a huge lesson on this no contact stuff.