I can't sleep and feel so stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
I can't sleep and feel so stupid
1
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 4:48am
As the title says...I can't sleep. It is 4:30 a.m. EST. I feel stupid b/c I can't stop thinking about this guy who I hung out w/
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 3:16pm

Hi violet,

There's no need to feel stupid for having cared about someone and being upset by their exit. I mean, if that were the case, no one would ever forge any bonds with anyone, so you can stop doing that to yourself now :)

We're all humans and we all experience pain. Some don't do so well with dealing with it on their own, so they seek the help and comfort of another person. Unfortunately, when we're in pain, we also don't make the best decisions, we just want the pain to go away. I guess you can start by understanding he is simply human, with weaknesses like us all, and you were there for someone at the right time-- for them. There's no shame in that. You can also forgive him for not handling it all better, but very few people are able to handle situations in exactly the right way every single time. I don't believe from what you've posted he ever meant to harm, hurt, or use you.

Every relationship is a learning experience. You've learned now to not jump into a relationship with someone who is freshly out of another one, this is really good and helpful information to have as you go forward in life. This will help because no matter what someone else says, *you* will hold to your own timeline because you'll know it's best for you. Most importantly, know that the connection you found with this person, short and sweet as it was, you'll find long-term with someone who is perfectly right for you.

What I would suggest for you is to avoid any and all contact with him for a while, even if he's the one initiating it. Actually, especially if he's the one initiating it. Reason for that is because you're pretty vulnerable to each other. You didn't break up because you didn't like each other or didn't get along. You broke up because he hadn't finished his business elsewhere. Being with you requires there not be unfinished business elsewhere, remember to keep to that boundary so you don't get hurt in the future.

Best of luck in the New Year,

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