first love breakup and broken heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
first love breakup and broken heart
22
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 5:32am
This is my first breakup and I have no idea how to deal with this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 7:46am

belle


I am also going thru my first breakup after a 3 year relationship. This board has a lot of great advice, but the #1 advice you will hear is that you must have NC (no contact) with your ex in order to start the healing process.


The first breakup hurts SO badly, I know. I am 3 months into mine and I was the one who ended it, but it didn't make it that much easier. And like you, the one thing that drives me crazy (even though I ended things) is him moving on and being with someone else. It hurts like hell- so you are not alone here at all.


There is a resource section on the board, which has a lot of articles and useful advice. As hard as it is to hear, you are going to feel better soon, but you have to start NC and enforce it with him. Keep posting here for support, you will get a lot of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:23am

Hi,

This is my first break up too. I have been in relationship with this wonderful girl for 6 months now. We have had the most amazing time together. However she is 6 years older to me and was always reluctant to even accept me as her boyfriend. We slept together ever night for the past few months we roamed around and had a wonderful time. However trouble started when went for vacation for a month in my home country. It has hardly been 7 days and we are on the verge of break up. I did everything i could to save our relationship, she says she cannot move on all i want is to spend as much time as i can with her.Atleast I want to meet her once before i go seperate and not break up over phone. It is really painful as i am far away form all my friends and feel isolated by all the sides

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 6:27pm

we were perfect for each other in the beginning but i guess we just grew apart.

thats exactly what happened and yes it hurts like HELL for the first couple of days-maybe even weeks, but the pain will less with time. growing apart happens a lot in relationships when youre young-youre still trying to find yourself and what you want out of life...as you get more mature-sometimes who you want to be with changes too...i was with a guy for almost 2 years-he was my "high school sweet heart"-i thought we were going to get married and have the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, the dog in the yard-the whole kit and caboodle. but we kept arguing, he was always doing other things-hanging out with his cousins that lived 2 hours away-he was also lazy and liked to play video games all day long until he went to work or school...he would rather do that than come and visit me-the night we broke up-he was going to go over his friends house and drink and play cards until well after midnight...i wanted to go-he told me "no-you wont know anybody besides me and besides your parents wont like you out that late..." so i begged for him to come over-he did-he broke up with me in front of my parents house, in his car-and i cried for 3 days straight. i didnt eat, i didnt sleep, i just cried. every time i would hear one of our "songs", i would cry. i told off one of my coworkers, burst into tears and ran into the bathroom at work 2 days after the break up cuz i was so upset...but you know-the pain did go away wit time. i still think about him from time to time-i smile when i think about the good times-and i get a lil sad when i think about the end, but im not overcome with emotion when i think about either of those moments...thats what wil happen with you-over time. maybe write wverything you feel down in a journal-play some sad songs and cry your eyes out-then play some upbeat, men bashing songs and feel better-sometimes you need to have that good cry...go out with your friends...go sign up for a sport or a class or something that YOU would enjoy doing...just dont sit around feeling blue...eventually you both will find someone new and life will go on-i know it seems bleak right now, but in the end, youll realize it was for the best. hugs to you-just give it time:-}
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:46pm
the hardest thing for me is i keep seeing him in my head with someone else and him telling them that she's the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:02pm
That is really hard, I am so sorry you are going through that. I can't tell you how things will work out in the end, but from my experience the best way to cure a broken heart is to force yourself out of your comfort zone to experience new adventures. Join a social group, make a point to have girls night out or in. Take this time to do special mother daughter things. What ever you do don't do this alone. I have been through one really bad break up and a one really bumpy relationship and the things that keep me sane where the things I did with other women. My mom and I would have breakfast every Saturday, my friends and I spent weekend nights go out to shows, or dance clubs. During the week I joined an aerobics class, and a scrap booking group. I just tried to spend my time doing positive things. There were times that were really hard like trying to fall asleep at night in my big lonely bed, but it not take long before I those nights were spent planning my next event or getting excited for a really fun girl weekend. It is hard, and it is ok to cry, or miss him, but make sure you allow yourself to have a little fun now and then too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 11:57pm

No matter how old you are or what happens in your life, your first love (good or bad) and it's break-up stays with you all your life but with each breath you take, each morning you get up, each night you snuggle into bed, the pain lessens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 2:19am
Thank you so much for your thoughts...you are the first person that made sense to me and not answered my questions you made me understand them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 4:36am
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 9:59am

First love breakups are so hard.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:10am

I'm glad I could help a little.

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