I need your opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
I need your opinions
2
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 11:02am

Well I broke NC with my ex last Sat when I saw him. I tried to talk to him a bit just to open up lines of communication and break any animosity between us. He didn't seem interested so I went on my way.

Anyway, my New Years resolution was to get rid of excess drama, negativity and baggage. So I decided to delete my myspace. Before I deleted it I took a look at my ex's page. What do i see? A picture of him and my "friend" in bed together. Sure 2 of the pictures seemed innocent enough, just them leaning into each other and sitting at the foot of the bed. I know someone else took that picture so it's not like anything (probably) happened. The one picture that upset me was one where they were both lying side by side on a pillow. It was a picture of just their faces and it was obvious my ex held up the camera and took it himself. Well I vented out to a coworker yesterday (since i saw the picture right before lunchbreak) and as luck would have it he happened to know her and my ex and in 40 minutes i get a call from my friend bitching me out for spreading rumors about her and my ex having sex. To clear things up I did not say that had sex- i merely vented that i thought it was messed up of a friend to take such suggestive pictures with my ex, knowing that i would probably see it. I felt betrayed and angered by my friend. He can do what he wants, but I hate two faced people who say how much i mean to them and are there for me to cry with but then turns around and hurts me like that. What friend does that?

We talk and explain our sides of the story. Ends up it was at a party and they were just playing around in the room (did i mention they were in PJ's?). She said it was innocent and I believe her, but that wasn't my point. My point is that she kept saying how not talking to her first made me seem like a "jealous friend" but is what she did what a "true friend" would do? I talked to my coworker who apologized and tried to clear things up with whomever he told. And yes she did get mad at my ex for posting those pictures. It's like what I told her. Considering the amount of new pictures she and him have together (alone) and the "bed" pictures, people are going to assume things. Like i said i don't have any role in my ex's life. He can do what he wants. I just feel that my friend should not have betrayed me like that knowing perfectly well how I would react. Even if my friend and i apologized to each other and moved on, I don't know. I still feel like it was a messed up thing for them to do. What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 1:57pm

Well, would you rather they do this behind your back?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 2:35pm
Yeah i apologized to her for venting. What happened was i did see the pics while i was at work during lunchbreak. I didn't know how long my convo with her would have lasted so I planned on calling her after work. However, my head was spinning and it felt like there was a weight on my shoulders and I just needed to vent. So since I was eating with a coworker I told him. I didn't know he knew anybody that was associated with our social circle. If i knew that I wouldn't even have said anything. I don't usually discuss my personal life at work but it just felt like a huge knife in my back and I needed to talk to her but i couldn't at work. I guess what made me the most angry is that she always has a way to make me feel bad- intentional or not. Whether I was hanging out with her and she would mention a party that my ex was making her plan for him or showing me pictures of them hanging out. My problem is i try to avoid confrontation so I kept everything bottled up. Then I saw the pics and i just had it ya know. So i laid everything out on the table for her. I apologized for my role in it (of course i didnt start that rumor but people have a way of twisting words around) and she apologized for hers. Certain things that I rather not divulge have led me to question whether she sided more with him. I'm just more cautious right now. i don't think keeping mutual friends with him is a good idea.