getting stronger!? please read

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
getting stronger!? please read
5
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 10:06pm

i have been posting here since my breakup 2 weeks ago today.


Things didn't make sense with my breakup because my boyfriend ended things so abrubtly after a year of a very loving great relationship, healthy, our families were merging ,etc. after I brought up the "where is this going convo". he was knee deep in a divorce battle, and it continued through our relationship and i think maybe the pressure of the whole thing got to him in the end. I posted about when he broke up he cried for days, and holed himself up in his house turned off phones, etc. and said he couldn't see or speak to me anymore. it was sudden and made no sense.


I broke NC 5 days after the breakup and he wasnt very nice about it. he said we shouldnt be talking, he was trying to move on, speaking would only set us back and he said while he was having a hard time and was sad, he was confident in his decision and it wasn't changing. He was curt, said he didn't think we should talk anymore because there was no point. he was very adament that we would not speak and shouldn't. he felt the healing wouldn't begin until we cut contact. it killed me and i felt like he hated me.


When we were still together my best friends husband gave him very coveted tickets to a game. he took his best friend. well today, i get an email from HIS BEST FRIEND, who he took to the game. his friend said that they were so apprechiative of the tickets that him and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 10:41pm
If you didn't do anything wrong, how could he hate you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:43pm

not feeling strong today. just feeling terrible that he couldn't even ask me (over email) for the address himself. went back to shrink today and she assured me its because he can't have the contact because he feels weak about it, and if it didn't matter to him, he wouldn't be emotionally tied to the no contact.


also. still haven't gotten my stuff back. she says its because she doesnt think emotionally he is able to pack my stuff and bring it to me, since he is avoiding the whole issue.


she continues to remind me that his crying for days and holing up in his parents house is not behavior of someone who is okay with their decision. indifference would mean he would just screen me and have no problem seeing me because there is no risk to his resolve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 1:40pm
I'm sorry you're struggling, but there are going to be good days followed by bad days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 2:05pm
indifference is neither here nor there, unimportant, no concern...did you break up with your ex? or he broke up with you? either way, if you get to a place of true indifference, in a sense, you are healed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 2:17pm