I've been cheating
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| Fri, 01-04-2008 - 3:51pm |
It's time i fess up to something. For the last couple of days I have been reading my ex's blog. I know this is really dangerous behavior because it leaves me with having some attachment to the ex, as well as being in a position to find out information I don't want to know about. I've been excellent in every other form of no contact, but for some reason I've had trouble with this...probably because I know I'm only accountable to one person...me. (and now you-ha ha) It's like emotionally cheating but not physically cheating. So, how can I do better in this area? I know that website address by heart...and sometimes I can go a long time without looking but then all of a sudden it feels like a pressure cooker and I get bored and..bam!
Any suggestions and a smack upside the head would be helpful. :)
Damn! It's seriously hard to break up with people in the 21st century. Remember when it was just a matter of not calling...geesh!

It IS hard to maintain no contact in today's world, that's for sure!
What has worked for me in similar situations (like checking an ex's online profile) is to commit to a good friend and/or my counselor that I won't check it for X number of days.
I almost wish there was a way he would know if I was looking...like info that says exactly who has been checking your blog...that would make it WAAAY easier. It's funny that you can have so much self-discipline in so many other areas of your life but for this...this is really hard for me. But I do realize that it makes me "connected" to him in a way, and I know that's not healthy.
Maybe I made a deal with myself too....like I don't do it xx number of days and if I'm good I'll treat myself to a massage? Of course I would still have to pay for it...hmmm, how do i get around that?
I'm glad I fessed up...i was beginning to feel very hypocritical of telling other people they should not contact. C'mon...has anyone else done what I've done? :)
Well, for better or worse, I don't keep deals I make with myself very well ;-), reward or no reward.
dont be too hard on yourself. lurking is much better than calling that fool up. :)
i admit, i did some cheating earlier on by seeing his web profiles and stuff like that. but eventually i started feeling nothing good was coming of it. how much "what does that MEAN?" and all those other questions, etcetera was driving me insnae. so i stopped!!
it doesn't help that things have been extremely slow at work (gee, can you tell?) and during the holidays I had a LOT of time on my hands...even though I kept trying to fill it up as much as possible so it wouldn't just be me and my (dum dum dum) laptop.
Lurking is better in that I don't "look" like a fool, but it is definitely keeping me "connected" to him and that is bad! :)