HELP! This is Bad..... Need Advice NOW
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| Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:32am |
Hi all,
I really need you guys' help. I am doing really bad today after doing so well with my no contact. I was home over the weekend, doing fine, when my phone rang. I expected it to be my friend, and to my shock, it was him on the caller ID. I should've just disregarded the call, but instead like a jerk I answered it. I was very surprised and wondered what he wanted. I figured it'd probably be about the money he owes me or something, but it wasn’t. He wanted to know if I could meet him for a while before he had to go to work. Long story short, I ended up going to meet him and basically falling for all his sweet-talk and smoothness. He mentioned us dating and him doing well, giving up alcohol, being on day 6 clean from it, etc. He said all these things to me just to get what he wanted basically (we ended up one thing leading to another and we messed around a bit, luckily nothing too bad and nothing that makes me worried that I need to go get tested or anything like that, just light stuff). But still. So there I was, all wanting to believe him that he had good intentions, etc, when BOOM. I go home and download Yahoo again so we could play pool together again later on, and what do I see as his icon? HIS EX GF!!!!!!!! And the topper? She is 21 and PREGNANT!!! (I knew before we broke up this girl was pregnant with someone), but when I saw that I exploded. This girl is 21, my ex is 38! DISGUSTING! I ended up texting him up a storm cursing him out, etc then he got online later that night and was all sweet to me and replaced her pic with mine. Then all of a sudden out of the blue he does a complete 180 and says he never mentioned dating me, he's only on day 6, he needs time, he doesn’t want anything now and all he can commit to is "seeing" me "here and there" (basically meaning when he gets horny, he'll call me). He completely changed his tune. He was all sweet, got what he wanted from me, persuaded me to meet him, then once I got home, bye-bye.. Thrown away like a dish rag. I was crying I felt so upset. How could he be so cruel to call me like that knowing he doesn’t want anything real with me just to use me and toss me away?? I am really more angry at myself for ALLOWING this to happen when everything was going so well and I was doing so good. I was really concentrating on ME! Working out all the time, concentrating on my diet, spending time with friends, etc. Now I feel like I really let myself down and I feel absolutely horrible for it. Anyone ever been where I am before? How do you handle it? What should I do to make this feeling go away? I did send him a text last night saying "I'm sorry, I cant be your now and then girl, I feel more than that and you have no feelings for me so just mail me the payments and please do not contact me anymore" and then I went to sleep. But I just feel so bad for letting myself down like that. HELP.

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to update and let you all know that I've been thinking a lot all morning and talking to my best friend (she kind of reminds me of Dr Phil, lol but that’s good) - and I've made my decision…. From here on out, no more letting myself down. First I sent him a very short, abrupt email that said "Do not call, email, text, IM etc me anymore. If you want to make the payments, mail them to me." Then I thought what if that's not enough and he decides to try and get me anyway down the road? So I called my cell carrier and had my # changed. I feel this was the right thing to do. When I get home I am going to delete my screen name and block him on it so I cant even see him. He is poison to me. I cant keep letting this go on.
Jacki
153.2 / 152.2 / 120
Sounds like a good plan to me ;-)
*thoughtfully*, has it been a long time? I mean, if it's been a few months or weeks, I wouldn't beat myself over it. And you've learned something new.
The guy sounds like someone I know - regretting the pregnancy now that it's there and using you as a balm or hoping you'll fix it or the like. Good response though
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
Hi,
Its only been over since 4 days before xmas so its still very fresh.
Jacki
153.2 / 152.2 / 120
Hi,
I did the same thing. I changed my cell, my facebook, email. everything that he could use to get a hold of me.
One thing I could not change was my office number.