"Just get over him already!"
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| Tue, 01-08-2008 - 9:26pm |
So someone here has mentioned about friends just not getting it and such. My friends have been extremely supportive, taking me out and keeping my mind occupied. Some of them are in agreement with me and say "you did the right thing", knowing the circumstances and all. Others seem to have no clue, nor do they have a clue what to say, and it's getting annoying. Some people keep saying "cheer up!" like I'm just having a bad day or something. I understand saying that if it's been a few months and you're still brooding over the break up, but it's been NINE days for me, that's IT!! And personally, I think I'm doing very well! Others are like "just get over it already" which is also ridiculous. It's not like my pet fish died (even so, that might be traumatic for some people, I'm not one to judge!)! People keep telling me what to do and yelling at me that

Yeah, stay away from the lovebirds for a while. It's weird how breakups will help you figure out just who your true friends are vs. the casual acquaintances. That's not to say that your true friends will listen to you endlessly moan on and on, eventually one of them will give you a very necessary shake if needed, but they **will** give you more than nine days' leeway, especially if they realize you were together and somewhat serious for a while. I'd say cut them out for a while. Not in a bad way, but just find other folks to spend your time with for the moment. On the other hand, it is very helpful to your healing (eventually) if you spend some time with people and NOT discuss your breakup. One, it makes you three-dimensional again, and two, it gives your heart a rest.
People who are newly in love don't want to be hearing about love gone wrong, lest they "catch what you got." It's silly, but it's more or less true. Plus, and I dare anyone to correct me on this, people that have just fallen in love are a pretty self-focused bunch. So they can't help it ;-)
I ended up losing (well, not losing, more like I helped them go away) two exceptionally good friends of many years, and one friend of only a couple of years post-breakup. Mainly because they lost patience and couldn't understand why it was "taking me so long" to get over my breakup. I don't think they could have shown more intolerance or misunderstanding of me if they tried. It was a real eye-opener. I didn't see any reason why I had to do my breakup in the way *they* wanted. It's my life, and in in the immortal words of Eric Cartman, "Whateva! I do what I want!"
Good luck,
Are there any right words to say to someone when they've lost their love?
Thanks for both replies!
I think some of my friends are being weird about it because they may be having second thoughts about their own relationships and some of this stuff freaks them out, who knows ....
And as for that girl who said she didn't want to hear me talk about N anymore, she also said a week after 9/11, "are you STILL talking about the plane crash!?!" ... so yeah ... it could just be her and not the subject!