should i leave? or see how things go

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
should i leave? or see how things go
5
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 5:43pm

hey everyone happy new year! so far things betweenme & my bf has been going fine until lately....me & my bf whom i let back into my life were going fine all last year & part of this year....i talked to him up until the 5th ive been trying to call him but im not getting any answer.i think he is meaning to have his phone off...im getting so tired ..sometimes he's all loving & sometimes its like he dont even care.only love have me holding on..im really thinking should i stay or should i leave? & now i'm starting to think there's someone new in his life again why he's acting like this.. i'm really sensitive i dont think no one feelings should be messed with.espcially when in a relationship...:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:03pm
can anyone answer to this??
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 7:27pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 10:48pm

Welcome back, cuteness.

Is this the same guy you were talking about last year? The one who kept ignoring you in October? The one who had another girlfriend and you in February? If this is the same guy, I doubt my input will be much different than before.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=22113.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=22135.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=22181.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24063.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24065.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24070.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24082.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24131.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24170.1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=24195.1

The problems you've indicated between you in February and October of last year, and now again in January, seem to center on him not calling for days at a time, ignoring you or telling you to leave him alone, you getting exceptionally anxious about it, thinking he either wants to break up with you or has someone else, him not really caring about your feelings in all this or talking his way out of it, you being unable to let go, asking what to do and then posing reasons why the suggestions don't apply to you or your boyfriend. I'm sorry, but that has been your pattern.

If this is not the same guy, then you might look into addressing your anxiety levels and how realistic your expectations in relationships are.

The last time you asked about this, you got a ton of support and advice, mostly having to do with you finding the strength to let him stay gone and developing your own self-esteem. Have you worked on that? More often than not, relationships established in teenage years seem to get left behind as the individuals grow into their adult selves.

I think the best thing you could do for yourself, as was mentioned last time, is for you to really work to develop your self-esteem and self-regard OUTSIDE of this relationship. Also, as far as whether you should stay or leave, re-read over the responses you got last time this situation surfaced between you. Hopefully this time they'll sink in.

Good luck,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 7:15am
How many times are you going to subject yourself to this? You need to find the strength to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 3:25pm
Great advice, Sandra!