UPDATE - And Question for You All...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
UPDATE - And Question for You All...
2
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 11:29am

Hi everyone,


I just wanted to give a little update on how things are going with my situation… Its only been 5 days since my "start over again" NC, but for some reason I feel really strong again, like I did before the holiday came and I allowed myself to break down and be reeled in by his phone call. I kind of feel like that stupid contact never even happened for some reason, like I never even slipped! I just sort of put it out of my mind and moved on with my recovery. I don’t know why it got so easy again, but it did! (knock wood!)


BTW - we had made up that each month I would be receiving my monthly payments toward the $ he owes me by the 10th. Well, look what yesterday was: The 10th, and guess what everyone, NOTHING. I mean, I sort of knew not to expect anything so im not even surprised. I feel it was an expensive lesson, but one worth paying to have that piece of crap out of my life. Let him ruin someone else's life and bring someone else down with him. SO…. I changed my #, (which btw is SOOO much better now KNOWING that each time the phone rings I don’t have to worry that I'll look at the caller ID and see his # because I know I wouldn’t have slipped up if he hadnt called me) - so that was a good move. I also blocked him from emailing me or even seeing me online anymore, AND, for my final "goodbye" so to speak, I had put the ring he bought me for my birthday (the one and only thing he ever got me) up for sale on ebay and the auction ends today and someone already has bid $200 for it! I'm happy about that because that is one payment from him, but I'm also sad because it’s a beautiful ring (I had picked it out myself) and I hate to sell it, but there's just too many memories of him and all the things he did to me connected to me that I can barely look at it, let alone wear it anymore, so I decided what the heck… might as well get SOMETHING for it, right? Plus, its kind of another symbol of letting go of that ugly past with him. So do you all think selling the ring is the right thing to do? Anyways, I'm feeling a lot better than I was and I feel more confident that things will get better.

Jacki

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 11:09pm

Well I can't say whether or not it was the right thing to do. But if it helps in the healing process for you, it probably was.

And for the record, I threw out every last thing that reminded me of him, 90% of which 'I' paid for and haven't regretted it.

All the best


- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Sat, 01-12-2008 - 10:37am

For what it's worth, it was absolutely the right thing to do. I don't know how long you guys have been broken up, but in my opinion, the sooner you are able to get rid of daily reminders, the better! Unless of course looking at said reminders don't make you feel anything, but that doesn't sound like it's the case with you. \


A ring is a very strong symbol. It's a promise of sorts. That's the last thing you want hanging around your house reminding you of a relationship that went sour. Furthermore, since you picked it out, you can go get another one for yourself, if you like! A little different of course, maybe another stone, or setting, or shape...better yet, look forward to the day when someone will present you