was he cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
was he cheating?
4
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:18am

Its been only a week and a half, but I can't sleep at night. Now that I've had some time to look back on our relationship, I am really wondering if he was cheating on me the last couple months we were together. His attitude toward us changed so much, he stopped coming over all the time, he stopped spending the night, we never had sex, he never answered when I called him, and he had a lot of free time when I was really busy. All these things are making me think he was seeing someone else.

I want to keep going with NC, but I can't get this thought out of my head. He never mentioned it, we just broke up because how he was acting was really affecting me and I couldn't handle having a non-existent boyfriend anymore. Should I ask him about this? Would it help me move on or tear me apart? If I get over him and find out months down the road that he was cheating on me, would that set me back in moving on? Has this ever happened to anyone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:26am
My X girlfriend that just threw me to the side about 2 weeks ago swearers she never did anything with two guys unspectacular... However, she lied right to my face almost every day! So, you may never know the truth. How ever if he was in love with you the way I was with my X it never crossed his mind. From what I have herd and seen I can almost say my X was cheating on me consistently w/her X during our whole relationship(aside from when he was w/her BESTFRIEND right after they broke up). She also had a married man at her new job... Anyway, long story short I gave my everything to this girl, and she crumbled it up and trashed it. You don't need to know it just hurts more... I barley sleep since we've been apart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:55am

I've been through the same thing...ex bf broke up with me, I analyzed everything he had been doing while we were together and then became suspicious that he was seeing someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 10:01am

By the way, I also agree with standintall....if you ask him, he may lie and say he wasn't cheating on you, so are you going to believe him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 1:32pm

Justgo,

I would NOT ask him- if you're doing NC- thats great - keep it that way! It sounds like he was cheating because that is how my boyfriend was acting, but I found out that he was and called him on it. Now, he is with her, but we still share an apt. I think he brings her over when I am not here. BELIEVE ME you do NOT want to know. I have far more anxiety knowing that he cheated and knowing right this second he may be with her (after 5 yrs together!) than when I didn't know. (And, at the time, I thought I needed to know too). I always asked him but he lied and lied. He is still lying about their relationship and his cheating, tho it has already been proven in black and white. So, I say that you should just talk to someone (a friend, counselor, family member, journal, or EVERYONE lol) instead of calling him. If I was able to do that- I totally would!

Good luck!

Liz