long distance ultimatum
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| Sun, 03-30-2008 - 8:11am |
I know what I have to say has been said but I need your help here! Been dating great guy for almost 2 years. he proposed last february and I accepted but only to take it back bc I wasn't ready. I wasn't even divorced yet but I guess our relationship was going so great that he thought it was time. anyway, we have stayed together through some rough times taht I mainly inflicted like pushing him away when I thought he was to controlling by asking me everything about my day for example...I told him I wasn't sure, maybe something was missing, and we took a break well, I did. and this hurt him badly. He didn't waiver in his love for me and I went out and partied etc. I was struggling with depression and on a new med through the winter and thats when he says I changed for the bad(with my actions not being so loving...lose temper easily) but I noticed this and took myself off the meds and in return felt like a real person again. My feelings made a complete turnaround and I felt it was time to be with him...so guess what, he's not ready now. but one of our biggest probs is the distance. He's 4 hours away at the beach and is an avid surfer. we have been talking about finally trying to make this a normal relationship and him moving here(Ihave 2 kids that I don't think need to be uprooted now) so he tells me he just needs time to get things straight in his head(not space, he didn't say he wanted to break up) but yesterday(oneday after he says give him 2 weeks) he finally text(after not calling for whole day) and says "cant move, not now, all I want 2 do is surf"...what kind of answer is that? then I said we'd just continue to travel...he didn't reply...so I tried to pick myself up by bootstraps and didn't call or text at all...then last night at 7pm he text out of the blue "I do love you". I think he is seriously struglling with the decision. and I think his friends have a huge impact on him(i don't think they like me very much) so he spent most of the day with them surfing. anyway...my heart is broken, crying, feeling helpless. what do I do?

hey there... i hope you are doing better now... what i wanted to say from what your wrote (only can go off of a few sentences) is that you kind of pushed him away and said "see ya later".
Welcome to the board teachmenot,
::"cant move, not now, all I want 2 do is surf"
I think this what he really means and you should believe him.