Dealing with Anger?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Dealing with Anger?
6
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 4:22pm

Hello everyone,



I was wondering if anyone might have some tips for dealing with the anger phase of grieving. I read the article in the resource section entitled Ten Tips for Managing Anger, but it seemed that many of them related to a situation in which you actually have someone to be angry at in person. ...unfortunately in the case of a breakup, I'm simply angry for him leaving me and angry because all my plans for the future got squashed and I can't take it out on the person who initiated the problems (not that "taking it out on him" would have been a good idea either). Anyway, I'm just looking to see if any of you have found good ways of managing those angry feelings.



Wess' Website

uncommononsense
I can't go back to yesterday--because I was a different person then. --L. Carroll


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 4:57pm
Write an UNSENT letter, telling him how he messed up your future bliss.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 8:09pm

The only thing I've found that helps at least a little bit is getting some exercise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 8:25pm
It must be in the air!! I have come to that stage too?!?!? I am hating him for all the rent free space he is keeping in my head. I just cant believe he left me ( although I was the one who had to up get on a plane and move home 3000 miles away and start over completely) and is living his life as selfishly as he always has.
I think I may join a workout class of some kind for it is spring and summers just around the corner, and that pint of rocky road I just ate wont diminish by sitting and being sad.
I think that will help us take our anger out in the best possible way. I am hoping that will work for me. But I feel so angry sometimes, and he still calls and trys to be soo sweet like nothing was his fault and it was all me when in reality I did nothing but give my best and he was the one who told me he loved me as the woman I was before I gave up everything per his request to go and move with him 3000 miles away. duh?!? Of course I was different! I had to leave everything and everyone and go to be with just him who wasnt there half the time, and when he was he was emotionally and physically disconnected...
lets be strong together and angry too because from what Ive read, it is all part of the breakup equation:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 1:20pm

Thanks, ladies. I guess I'll pick up a pen and try to get back to writing things down. I've been out of that routine for a few days now.

sunpleaseshineonme, good luck with your workout plan! I'm starting a dance class this month which I'm definitely hoping will help me take out some of this angry energy. Wouldn't it be great if all the wonderful people we've met on this board lived near one another so that we could motivate each other to get out to the gym? :) That's always the hardest part--picking myself up off the couch. I feel great once I get there, but I always seem to find some excuse not to go in the first place.



Wess' Website

uncommononsense
I can't go back to yesterday--because I was a different person then. --L. Carroll


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 12:23am
This is going to sound really really corny but it has helped me immensely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Thu, 04-03-2008 - 2:39am

hello uncommononsesne-

i am in that phase of the break up right now, being angry about him owing me money and him leaving my future uncertain because i was going to move out of state to be with him, and him cutting me off cold turkey... etc. i'm trying NOT to be angry, which might be the worst way of dealing, i usually turn it inward and get depressed and angry at myself, don't do that by the way : ) i am still trying to let the stages of grief run their courses, but this one is probably the hardest one to deal with.

maybe try kickboxing (or any exercise class) or even just going for a jog outside. maybe yelling into a pillow. crying may also release anger. or writing all your thoughts, but just tearing them up so you can't reread them, or burning them. turn it into something productive. it may give you a mental release that is indirect anger towards "him", even though you really don't want to harm him through your anger, letting it out positively is best. relaxation such as yoga might also help. go dancing, let out physical energy. i'm going through the same stage and trying my best but some of those things have seemed to help me. therapy/talking with a professional might help, letting it out in any way. i hope you feel better soon.