Numb = normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Numb = normal?
8
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 6:17pm

Hi everyone.

My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me on the weekend and after about 24 hours of nonstop tears I've gone numb. Is this normal? I'm not complaining (believe me, this deadness inside is more pleasant than the endless weeping), but I'm wondering if this is a calm before a horrible, awful storm that's just over the horizon. Or am I really Superwoman like I always believed? (kidding! :-P)

This breakup was a while coming. The past couple of months were miserable for both of us but I had hope - maybe still do - but he feels he needs to be alone and work through some things, which I have to say I agree with. I'm trying to view this as a cut-and-dry breakup because I don't think I can deal with ambiguity and basically waiting for him to decide he's had enough time (if that ever even happens). After reading through a few posts here on the board I'm determined to cut off contact and let his calls go to voicemail, so that's a step in the right direction.

It's the giving up on the hope that I've clung to for months - and much of that time hope was all I felt I had to cling to - that I'm finding especially difficult.

...and I'm sounding a lot more coherent than I'm feeling.

Thanks for any advice! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 6:23pm
You sound very coherent and very strong! Hmmmm...maybe you ARE superwoman afterall! My fiance broke up with me by email two weeks ago and the best thing for me was having no contact (nc) with him. It has been the best thing I have done...it kind of gives YOU the power back. It's a method of self-preservation and is very empowering. Use this time to work on you and learn from that relationship so that you can move on to find the love you want and deserve! Lots of luck to you!!!! ((((HUGS)))) xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 6:34pm

((((litgirl)))) Thank you for your support - I'm really happy to hear that NC works because it's really hard - although you already know that, I'm sure. :-) That's brutal that your fiance broke up with you over email, yikes!! It sounds like you're doing really well though, which is AWESOME! :-D

I sound coherent in writing, but I haven't been able to actually speak the words "-- broke up with me" without breaking down. Someday. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 6:55pm
I knowwww its hard to say "broke up with me" it's the ultimate rejection! Get lots of support from friends and family and you can also go the enotalone board (google it). Get the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken"...very funny and has helped me A LOT!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 11:42pm
No contact at all! That is the best way to get over it. No longer look at his myspace/facebook or whatever. You sound like a strong person. I'm with you on this one we all know how it feels. Just right now time and space will do the trick. Go out hangout with friends and just try to always stay busy. I felt numb after a break up also it dosn't get any worse then the first 24 hours. Remember you will met a great guy some day. This guy wasnt for you the next one will be better just stay positive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 1:17am

Hello

so sorry to hear of your pain also. you are in the same situation as me (mine was 22 yrs) and i am going to really try hard for nc - it must be better than what I have been doing.

Perhaps we can support each other - email me instead if you feel the need to contact him.

Best wishes x

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 3:27pm

I'm *really* glad to hear that the first 24 hours is the worst! I work with children and I was concerned that something would remind me of him and I'd be down for the count within seconds. So far so good (at work, anyhow - no comment on being at home).

Thanks so much for your support (((imwideawake)))! It means a lot. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 3:31pm

(((hels))) - sweetheart, I would guess that my pain is nothing compared to yours, just like 10 months is nothing compared to 22 years. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. ((HUG))

I'm up for supporting each other and emailing you when I feel the urge to contact him. You do the same!! We'll get through this. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Wed, 04-02-2008 - 2:35am
Wow... I too was numb in the beginning it has been bout a week for me since the break up. I've been w/ my ex for almost 4 years so I too can only imagine about 22 years. I haven't had any emotional tears or anything which I felt was weird. I knew this break up was coming but thought I could work through it. Guess he did not feel the same way. As my usual motto goes on how THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I am just waiting to learn what this reason for a break up would be when we were supposed to get engaged by this summer. We shall all get through this one way or another.
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