Make Me Stop! [breaking NC]
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| Thu, 04-03-2008 - 3:09pm |
Hi everyone,
I've posted about my situation on here before, but I broke it off with my fiance in mid-February. He has a terrible temper and is very controlling; he was rushing the marriage--in fact, tomorrow is the day we were supposed to get married! When I broke it off, a monster emerged, and he harassed and harangued me so terribly. A few weeks later, he made contact and tried to charm his way back in; when I expressed hesitation, he immediately reverted back to the "monster," as I term it.
Well, about a week ago I began to miss him, against my better judgement, and I made contact with him. He *immediately* began pressing me to tell him that I loved him and wanted to get back together--when I couldn't give him those answers right away, he again reverted back to verbal abuse. At that point, I was finished, but not before enduring another round of verbal and emotional abuse from someone that was supposed to love me.
Today is my birthday, and tomorrow is the day we were supposed to get married. Despite all that has happened, I would have THOUGHT he would have at least sent me an email expressing birthday wishes. Nothing! He is moving on with his life just fine, and despite my knowing I should do the same, I kind of miss him. It's stupid and irrational, I know. But I'm sitting here on my birthday, crying, because I just cannot believe he can be so cold-hearted. I half-tempted to email him. Please, why would I do that? He will either just tell me off, denigrating me in the process, or ignore me (doubtful--more than likely he will use any opportunity to abuse me). How can he move on so easily? Is it because he wasn't the one abused? Who knows. I'm just at a loss and need some sense whacked into me.
Some birthday. 28 years old and at an impasse!

Happy Birthday timeofbutterflies!
Go DO something nice for yourself today.
******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over againHappy Birthday timeofbutterflies!
Thanks for your compassionate response. This line especially resonated with me:
"Why do you want him to send you an email for your birthday, to remind you that he CAN be nice if he wants to and is just CHOOSING to be a jerk?"
Very true. I didn't contact him, although I do have those nagging, tugging heartstrings that romantic saps moan about. Maybe I am just mourning what could have been, mourning the loss of those few shards of happiness and stability that peeked through in our relationship. Even though we broke up a while ago, I never really properly "mourned"--I was numb for a good two months.
One hour at a time, I guess...!
Aw, that sux about your birthday today. But even if you couldn't celebrate it very much on the actual day, take a day this weekend, or even the whole weekend, and do really great things for yourself!
It's still early in the process and you broke your engagement, it's normal to grieve for what could have been and won't be now. At the same time, I think you saved yourself a lifetime of misery later.
Good for you for being strong enough to get out. Hugs.
Butterflies,
This is simple advice... Watch the Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Jack Black...
I really hope you've never seen it.... because it got me through some tough times!
Oh, I definitely second that suggestion, kcolihan! The Holiday is just fabulous for the rough patches, and who can get enough of Jude Law? ;)
uncommononsense
I can't go back to yesterday--because I was a different person then. --L. Carroll
My crazy self LOVES Jack Black in that movie...
But Jude Law...Scrumptious too!