Couch, Soft Tissues, Captain Morgan
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 04-03-2008 - 7:58pm |
"You communicate through email much better than you do in person. When I read your words I can understand where you are coming from better. But in person you are too worried about what I think about you, or what you feel about me, to even open a door of true friendship. I don't want a relationship with you. I won't ever want a relationship with you. You can either be my friend, or bye bye nice knowing you. Sounds brutal but that's the way it is in my world.
I do like you as a person and I'm happy to give you advice or just talk life in general with you. It's a hard thing to understand if you have been out of the world for as long as you have. Peoople are complicated but there is good in all of them that we have to look for to feel. Society is a mess. It really is.
I hope this time you are serious about just being my friend. I don't want to have that conversation again because it's uncomfortable for me. You're my friend. You have to accept that. Cheers."
There's what I get. He started off quite interested in me when I was harder to get and knew me less. He ran off when I let him get to know me and started to like him. I keep hanging on the notion that maybe someday he just might realize what he let go of and come back. Why the hell is he so special though, that I have to feel so ready to sacrifice everything for his approval and desire for me? True, he is something else. He is a metaphysical poet, a hippie boy with the most beautiful mind, but he is cold and incapable of providing emotional connectivity. He wanted someone to be able to fulfil his loneliness, have sex, cuddle, and not care or feel. He is also narcissistic and stuck back in time and space where he had a relationship with someone that is still hanging on to his heart for dear life. Supposedly, he knows how to live for the moment and take chances as they come, but I do not think that is the case. Why the hell is this on my mind when I have such greater larger than life issues to challenge me? Pardon my English, but wtfudgeroo is up with "Just friends"???

It's brutal, alright.
Hi michigan and welcome.
I'm sure it's positively crushing to read those words from him, but they're pretty plain to the outsider. He's made his position absolutely crystal clear, it's just you that doesn't want to accept it because of the way you two once were. WERE, not are. And he doesn't want to go back there again with you, it really doesn't matter the reason why. Apparently you've had the "friends" discussion and have been hanging on in hopes he would somehow miraculously change his mind, but it's clear he's not going to, no matter what.
Don't vilify him or hurt yourself further by thinking or trying to put forward that there's something inherently wrong with either you or him because he doesn't want to be with you. There's nothing wrong with you, he didn't run because he got to know the real you, or because you opened your real self up to him. That's not why. I believe, and this is just a guess, that it had to do with him simply wanting something lighter-weight than you did. He knows he can't give you what you want and is telling you this, apparently not for the first time.
Do yourself a great big huge favor and cut off contact with him, you're in no position to be friends with him at the moment anyway. It'll do you good in the long run.
Good luck,