You're probably going to want to take a swing at me for this..but..stop analyzing why why why. It's one of those phases and impulses that everyone seems to go through - if they could find out what made it go wrong, it would un-do the break up and everything would right itself. For every relationship, even out of the blue ones, there's always at least a handful of reasons, not just one, that leads to a break up. No amount of analyzing will ever give you the straight answer you deserve.
Better is to go distract yourself. It's proven that if you have a distraction in the wings for ruminating situations, you come off feeling better afterwards. So when you feel down, go jog or see a movie or bake a cake. And if you do it enough, there will come a time when you can look at this break up objectively - as something that was a result of multiple mis-actions on both sides and that understanding those actions isn't important because (if you believe in this stuff) even if you'd gone back and fixed up every problem or potential problem, you might still be broken up. You are exactly where you need to be right now.
cheers
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
Thank you for your words. Day 5 here, and although I want to crash and burn, I do keep going. Although I'm proud to be an insightful thinker, I do think it's my own worst enemy at times. Today is "Our" Day...well, WAS... As we lived so far apart, we'd see each other on Saturday... though it doesn't feel any worse, or better today, it's comforting to know that I have all of you here.
What also has helped me, is that I have gotten over a previous relationship from years ago completely. The drug addict that I briefly spoke about in my initial post; I would never DREAM of being with him, because he didnt realize how great I am.... Awesome attitude, right?
....UNFORTUNATELY this one has me feeling down... I haven't stopped my daily activities, but it's hard to get through them, that's for sure..but I push on. I'm one day closer to being over it... :)
Now that I think about it, knowing that he is hurting wouldn't help me. "What we don't know won't hurt us" sometimes applies.
I do know that he wants to "heal" as he stated to me a few nights ago...so maybe. I don't think he was ready for the long term relationship either... plus, he has an unhealthy relatonship with his Mom that baffles me since I met him. So, all in all, although PARTS of him were better than my last boyfriend, I don't think he was for me. Even the "Good parts" were TOO good. He was TOO affectionate...I was swimming in kisses and hugs, and stuff... and although it might sound appealing... Too much sugar in a cookie really isn't good....Great job mind! Now, heart needs to follow suit!
I don't have the urge to slap you... but to hug you :) Thanks for the words.
Unfortunately, I've always been an analyzer, then, dating the King of, didn't help. But you're right, I could never know the reason why, and that wont change the fact that I need to get over this; and "Finding out Why" is never a step in this recovery process...My head is absolutely in the right spot I think...as I said, I need to get my heart there.
A good report, is that I've started eating again. At least somewhat... My anxiety eats my stomach and prevens me from eating, but yesterday, had some Sesame Chicken, and today, a PopTart. Beautiful day out....Im going to try and enjoy it. And, Im sure a "Feeling" will come, but I'm going to just ride the wave.... or try to.
I really do look forward to sharing things with you guys, and maybe sharing some of my own insight with you all.
Welcome to the board kcolihan,
It's hard to have a successful relationship if you are carrying baggage.
baggage... everyone has it.
You're probably going to want to take a swing at me for this..but..stop analyzing why why why. It's one of those phases and impulses that everyone seems to go through - if they could find out what made it go wrong, it would un-do the break up and everything would right itself. For every relationship, even out of the blue ones, there's always at least a handful of reasons, not just one, that leads to a break up. No amount of analyzing will ever give you the straight answer you deserve.
Better is to go distract yourself. It's proven that if you have a distraction in the wings for ruminating situations, you come off feeling better afterwards. So when you feel down, go jog or see a movie or bake a cake. And if you do it enough, there will come a time when you can look at this break up objectively - as something that was a result of multiple mis-actions on both sides and that understanding those actions isn't important because (if you believe in this stuff) even if you'd gone back and fixed up every problem or potential problem, you might still be broken up. You are exactly where you need to be right now.
cheers
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
Thank you for your words. Day 5 here, and although I want to crash and burn, I do keep going. Although I'm proud to be an insightful thinker, I do think it's my own worst enemy at times. Today is "Our" Day...well, WAS... As we lived so far apart, we'd see each other on Saturday... though it doesn't feel any worse, or better today, it's comforting to know that I have all of you here.
What also has helped me, is that I have gotten over a previous relationship from years ago completely. The drug addict that I briefly spoke about in my initial post; I would never DREAM of being with him, because he didnt realize how great I am.... Awesome attitude, right?
....UNFORTUNATELY this one has me feeling down... I haven't stopped my daily activities, but it's hard to get through them, that's for sure..but I push on. I'm one day closer to being over it... :)
THANKS AGAIN!
Again great words, thanks!
Now that I think about it, knowing that he is hurting wouldn't help me. "What we don't know won't hurt us" sometimes applies.
I do know that he wants to "heal" as he stated to me a few nights ago...so maybe. I don't think he was ready for the long term relationship either... plus, he has an unhealthy relatonship with his Mom that baffles me since I met him. So, all in all, although PARTS of him were better than my last boyfriend, I don't think he was for me. Even the "Good parts" were TOO good. He was TOO affectionate...I was swimming in kisses and hugs, and stuff... and although it might sound appealing... Too much sugar in a cookie really isn't good....Great job mind! Now, heart needs to follow suit!
As I mentioned in my last reply, it's day
I don't have the urge to slap you... but to hug you :) Thanks for the words.
Unfortunately, I've always been an analyzer, then, dating the King of, didn't help. But you're right, I could never know the reason why, and that wont change the fact that I need to get over this; and "Finding out Why" is never a step in this recovery process...My head is absolutely in the right spot I think...as I said, I need to get my heart there.
A good report, is that I've started eating again. At least somewhat... My anxiety eats my stomach and prevens me from eating, but yesterday, had some Sesame Chicken, and today, a PopTart. Beautiful day out....Im going to try and enjoy it. And, Im sure a "Feeling" will come, but I'm going to just ride the wave.... or try to.
I really do look forward to sharing things with you guys, and maybe sharing some of my own insight with you all.