Its Been 4 Months!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2008
Its Been 4 Months!!!
4
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 9:18am
Its been four months since me and my boyfriend of four years split up. And to this day I am still absolutely gutted. Does this ever go away? We split up before about 2 years ago and he begged me to come back and I did. This time he says he is over me. He now lives in the house we got together with 2 of his friends. He says he is the happiest he has ever been. Why cant i move on like him?? Ive tried to show him that we should be together but he will not have it. He just doesnt want me now. So I know the only thing I can do is forget him. Thing is I dont know how to. And every day just gets worse. How long will I be feeling like this?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 10:59am

It sounds like you're still in contact with him--is that the case?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 2:22pm

Welcome to the board nataliexx20,


::Ive tried to show him that we should be together but he will not have it.


Stop doing that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 3:46pm

it has been 4 months for me as well. my ex moved on very well too. we had broken up about a year ago too but he never really left, continued to come over and we practically fell in love again so it wasn't a real breakup. but four months ago he just up and left and didn't want to try anymore. didn't see a future with us. now he, like your ex, has moved on and is happier than ever. He did move out of his parents house at first and lived with friends and then moved back with his family. this is information that i shouldn't really know cuz he didn't tell me, i've found out through myspace. :p but anyways, even though you may or may not have communication with them, having ways to find out whats going on in their life is a form of contact whether it is asking around or going on his facebook, myspace, etc. if it wasn't for those indirect contacts i wouldn't know a thing about my ex, even about his new girlfriend that he got a month after breaking up.


i continue to slip and find out things about him but i'm constantly telling myself not to. i'm doing much better. the thing is, you have the power to move on too. it may not come natural or seem like it will ever happen but you gotta go through the motions of trying and then you'll start to see results of the benefits of doing so. i know it hurts, i know what is like to be the only one who feels like they are experiencing any pain because the ex seems to be so happy even though you had a relationship with them and it seems only fair that they would be grieving too . trust me, i know its a horrible feeling and i know its a very lonely feeling and that it really gets you down. the thing is, we can't do anything to change it. there are no words to tell them that can make them feel the way we do, their frame of mind is not there. thats why you have to do whatever it takes to be happy, even though you'll be doing it alone. its the only power you have. to stop no contact and start living your life. its the only thing that will give you any peace or purpose. you'll probably have some slips with nc at first but then as time goes on you'll notice it gets easier.


i feel your pain, i know what its like to feel pathetic for not feeling like you've moved on after 4 months, but you've been grieving and keeping contact is like practically setting yourself to have the emotions that you did during the breakup so its natural to not move on yet. but you will, if you really try.


email me if you want cuz its great to talk to people who have similar situations. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2008
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 5:59am

Thanks for the replies. It is funny how I thought I was the only one who felt like this. It just seems impossible and Im angry at myself for thinking I cant do it. I have been in contact. And as I was doing it I was laughing at myself because I knew it was a stupid thing to do. As for trying to not have any sort of contact its hard. My ex lives with a member of my family who Im close with. Obviously I haven't told them how I'm feeling. But my family love my ex. They're even going on holiday with him in a few weeks!!