How do I forget him, and move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2008
How do I forget him, and move on?
2
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:24pm

Here I am a 22 yr old woman on Day 5 of my first breakup with my now ex-fiance of 3 years who was also my first kiss, first love, first relationship. Right now i am in so much shock, I have been throwing up, diarreh, cant eat, cant sleep, cant get my heart to stop pounding out of my chest or the lump in my throat to leave.


Here's my story: 3 years ago my 'ex', who is an italian citizen, came to canada to take schooling for 2 years. We met and the love story began. I had always gaurded my heart and never got into a relationship with any other man before my 'ex' because i wanted to keep my heart for the man i would marry. I had never had a connection so strong and a love so deep, I knew this was the man i wanted to marry and I gave my heart to him, completly. I went to his home in Italy twice in the first 2 years and lived with him and his family for the summer. We were engaged at about 1 yr and half into our relationship. We had always known that I was the one who would move to be with him in Italy, so I kept leaving my belongings in Italy so the next time i came i could bring more.


The cultural difference of italy to canada is like night and day, it was literally like stepping back 500 years in time. But I had made the choice to give up all i knew to make a new life with the man i loved. after his 2 years were over he had to go back home and i stayed in canada. We were apart for 9 months, keeping our relationship alive with letters, gifts, emails, webcams, phone calls, all that stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 2:30pm

Welcome to the board lace_22,


It's not about forgetting. It's about grieving for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 7:21pm

I sort of understand how you feel...the ex that broke it off with me was completely different from me culturally...hes french and I was born and bred in New Zealand so it is different.

With the gifts and pictures and momentos from your ex I say to throw them away (i eventually ripped the photos and momentos and threw them in the rubbish) but i know its hard to do that right now so you should gather up those things and put them in box or something similar and store them away so you cant see them.

You cant really forget him..like i can't forget my ex..we can only try and lessen the pain day by day and try and not think of them too much (its hard i know - im still in that phase!)