So pathetic I am...
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So pathetic I am...
| Sun, 04-13-2008 - 3:16pm |
So I started dating my ex last February, and we fell in love very fast. We had our bumps and bruises, but neither one of us never cheated. He had an issue with lying, but he was well aware of it, and if he ever got caught up in his lies, he would feel bad, but for some reason would never come forward to tell the truth. This created problems with honesty, but he worked on it, and things became a little better slowly. We moved in together pretty quick, which caused some problems, but when we weren't living together we were spending the night at each others house every single night, so it just made more sense. Soon thereafter, the arguments began about cleaning, money, and everything else you can imagine. We came to a point where we were arguing everyday, sometimes we'd get physical with each other, but always emotionally battering. However, we both knew we STILL loved each other more than anything, at least I thought. So on Easter, we got into a fight about something, and I got fed up, and asked him to take this stuff, and move home. We've been broken up since. However, I expected him to make changes, and do what he could to get me back. He hasn't done that. He's moved on, going to barbecues, kicking it with his friends, going to girls' houses. Everything, except spending time with me. There have been a few times where I've asked him to come over and talk, and he'll lie and say he's sleeping, but I found out later he's at a party. We broke up, and took a break, and what I thought was only temporary, but he's doing nothing but show me he's over me. So the other day I did a stupid thing, and he wouldn't come and see me so I swallowed a bunch of pills, I even told him what I was doing, and he still wouldn't come and see me. My older brother happened to call me that night, and could tell something was wrong, and called the police. He saved my life. At the hospital the next day, my ex stopped by, for a 1/2 hour, but my mom said he couldn't come in so he just left. Haven't seen him since, and our text messages, and phone calls are the same as before..."you don't really love me, or you would have been there..." "I wanted to be there, but your mom said i had to leave". I AM SO LOST. I AM HURTING SO BAD. I HAVE TO START ANTIDEPRESSANTS...and I REALLY JUST FEEL PATHETIC. WHY AM I CHASING AFTER HIM WHEN I KNOW HES THE REASON THINGS DIDNT WORk. ITS NOT FAIR> I JUST WANT TO MOVE ON LIKE HES DOING BUT I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH.

Welcome to the board solost34,
Man is the only animal that has to be encouraged to live.