myspace problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
myspace problem
6
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 2:23pm
I'm sure some of you are familiar with myspace. Anyway, about 2 months ago my ex and I broke up. The first few days were rough and we kept adding and deleting each other on myspace & facebook. Yeah I laugh thinking about it now. I sent her a friend request a few days after our breakup and told her not to accept it. I told her about the no contact thing and it initiated from then on. So I'm thinking that she declined it and NC was good. I check my friends list from time to time to make sure. Ok so on April 12th I go through my friends list and it became clear to me that she declined my friend request. A day after, guess who I find? Yeah, her. This was on the same day that I added her on AIM to see if she was online. She was and I signed off immediately. I think this triggered it. She saw me appear online and then added me I guess. I told her about not contacting me after our breakup and she agreed to it. Keep in mind this was 2 something months ago. Should I just delete her? It seems like a mean thing to do, but I think she's only hurting herself by looking through my profile. I blog to vent and she might not take it the right way. Not only that, I have access to her private profile and I don't want to have that option. I hope this makes sense to some. I just bothers me because it makes me fill up empty brain space about hooking up which I have no desire in doing. It took a while, but I did it and I don't want to set myself back. Any ideas? Thanks in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 2:40pm

Hi gok1025,


Do me a favor and re-read

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:06pm

::I sent her a friend request a few days after our breakup and told her not to accept it.

I did that, but told her not to accept it. It's not like I've been trying to get a hold of her since. In fact, I made my friends delete her as well. This happened TWO months ago when I didn't know how to go about anything. Like I said, "The first few days were and we kept adding and deleting each other on myspace & facebook."

::This was on the same day that I added her on AIM to see if she was online.

Ok this happened a few days ago. It was wrong, but I didn't do it for two months straight. IMHO, that's not contact in any way. It was as simple as signing on, ok she's on, sign off. If that act violates NC then I failed. It violates NC, but it's not like I tried to talk to her.

::If you want No Contact, it works both ways. Why are you checking, looking, making contact, breaking No Contact? Then looking around asking 'who me?' Yes, you, as nicely as possible, police your own behavior.::

You make it seem like I'm stupid and didn't know what I did. Ok I made it seem like I check through my friends daily, but I don't tbh. Myspace isn't something I check daily. Looking? Not really. Making contact? Nope. Breaking it? If that act breaks it then ok I brought it on myself. What bothers me is that I've been doing NC the right way for quite a few weeks now. Thanks lol.

Edited 4/17/2008 3:12 pm ET by gok1025




Edited 4/17/2008 3:16 pm ET by gok1025
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:22pm

Unfortunately, yes, looking at her page, checking to see if she's online, etc, are all forms of contact as it keeps your mind engaged on what

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:41pm

Ok I understand that. I'll delete her. I just don't want you to get the idea that I violate NC constantly. I really don't. I'll go right ahead and delete her. I brought this upon me, but Idk it just seems mean because I didn't tell her and I don't want her to get the wrong idea. I'll end NC when I feel I have no romantic feelings for her and it only seems optional. Idk I feel cold hearted for doing NC sometimes. I'll be honest, I was going to play it off and leave her added and act like I never knew she added me just to get back at her, but it's wrong and it'll only set me back. At least I think so. Long story short, she cheated on me and this is a clear example of why I'm not over it.

Edited 4/17/2008 3:44 pm ET by gok1025




Edited 4/17/2008 3:45 pm ET by gok1025
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:49pm

::Idk I feel cold hearted for doing NC sometimes.


I think many here feel that way at times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: gok1025
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 4:12pm
Thanks Carrie appreciate it.