i understand the loneliness and emptiness. i thought i could jump right back out there and date after a month, boy was i wrong. i am attracted to people but i do also automatically compare the person to my ex and cannot take it any further, then i end up feeling depressed because i know deep down i am not ready, and wont be for a long time. i feel like i am missing out if i dont date, but really it saves a lot of pain and disappointment. i gave one guy a chance, and after that i just quit because i had to bring up the ex when he asked as well and it was awkward. having a bunch of rebound dates might make you feel better temporarily but in the long run you will be happy that you played it cool for a while and let the grief run its course. i think i would rather be alone than set myself up for more heartache when i am already going through enough.
I'm not sure it's about wanting to move on too soon, but rather not having anything else to fill up your time.
Here's a list I saved from I don't even remember where - to help you decide if you are ready:
You probably aren't ready to date again if:
• You have maintained any sexual relationship with your ex. • You still live with your ex, even platonically. • You are still wearing a ring, carrying a photo, or defining yourself as part of a couple. • You are stalking, following, harassing or frequently thinking about your ex. • You continue to harbor overwhelming negative feelings about your ex. • You continue to cry or be angry about the circumstances of your last relationship.
You're probably ready to date if you feel capable of facing any of the following:
• Being rejected when asking for a dance, phone number or date. • Answering questions about your last relationship. • Navigating misunderstandings and disagreements. • Working through the various issues that are bound to come up. • Rejecting someone honestly and kindly. • Identifying, accepting and admitting strong feelings for someone new. • Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and to one day love and be loved.
I think focusing on other things in your life besides dating would be a good idea.
Welcome to the board colleen2008,
I'm not sure it's about wanting to move on too soon, but rather not having anything else to fill up your time.
Here's a list I saved from I don't even remember where - to help you decide if you are ready:
You probably aren't ready to date again if:
• You have maintained any sexual relationship with your ex.
• You still live with your ex, even platonically.
• You are still wearing a ring, carrying a photo, or defining yourself as part of a couple.
• You are stalking, following, harassing or frequently thinking about your ex.
• You continue to harbor overwhelming negative feelings about your ex.
• You continue to cry or be angry about the circumstances of your last relationship.
You're probably ready to date if you feel capable of facing any of the following:
• Being rejected when asking for a dance, phone number or date.
• Answering questions about your last relationship.
• Navigating misunderstandings and disagreements.
• Working through the various issues that are bound to come up.
• Rejecting someone honestly and kindly.
• Identifying, accepting and admitting strong feelings for someone new.
• Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and to one day love and be loved.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Thank you for the tips...I am not ready to move on fully, and I do have 4 days off a week (im a nurse) so I need to fill them with lots of things.