Wanting to move on to soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Wanting to move on to soon?
5
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 12:39am

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 2:20am

I think focusing on other things in your life besides dating would be a good idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 2:50am
i understand the loneliness and emptiness. i thought i could jump right back out there and date after a month, boy was i wrong. i am attracted to people but i do also automatically compare the person to my ex and cannot take it any further, then i end up feeling depressed because i know deep down i am not ready, and wont be for a long time. i feel like i am missing out if i dont date, but really it saves a lot of pain and disappointment. i gave one guy a chance, and after that i just quit because i had to bring up the ex when he asked as well and it was awkward. having a bunch of rebound dates might make you feel better temporarily but in the long run you will be happy that you played it cool for a while and let the grief run its course. i think i would rather be alone than set myself up for more heartache when i am already going through enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 1:20pm

Welcome to the board colleen2008,


I'm not sure it's about wanting to move on too soon, but rather not having anything else to fill up your time.


Here's a list I saved from I don't even remember where - to help you decide if you are ready:


You probably aren't ready to date again if:


• You have maintained any sexual relationship with your ex.
• You still live with your ex, even platonically.
• You are still wearing a ring, carrying a photo, or defining yourself as part of a couple.
• You are stalking, following, harassing or frequently thinking about your ex.
• You continue to harbor overwhelming negative feelings about your ex.
• You continue to cry or be angry about the circumstances of your last relationship.


You're probably ready to date if you feel capable of facing any of the following:


• Being rejected when asking for a dance, phone number or date.
• Answering questions about your last relationship.
• Navigating misunderstandings and disagreements.
• Working through the various issues that are bound to come up.
• Rejecting someone honestly and kindly.
• Identifying, accepting and admitting strong feelings for someone new.
• Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and to one day love and be loved.


Don't be too hard on yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 11:54pm

Thank you for the tips...I am not ready to move on fully, and I do have 4 days off a week (im a nurse) so I need to fill them with lots of things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 12:01am
Yes you are so right.