He drunk dialed me.
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| Tue, 04-22-2008 - 9:04am |
Ok... so yesterday I was doing pretty good, finished work at around 9pm... beautiful warm evening... got in my car and it hit me all over again, I really, really miss him.
So like a drug addict, out of control and in need of a fix, I find myself at a payphone moments later dialing his number with this great idea in my mind...I'll just drive out and see him (in my insane mind I thought we could just pick up where we left off.)
Thankfully it went to voicemail and I hung up. I had been pretty strong until this point.
It's been about 2 weeks since we have physically spoken.
So I cried some of the way home, turned on a movie, and crawled into bed with a good book. At around 11:30pm the phone rings. I don't have caller i.d. and I just assumed it was my wacky girlfriend who calls at all hours.
It was him.
"Hi. Did you call me earlier?"
I denied calling....he said he thought it was me but wasn't sure, it sounded like he had a few drinks, he said he's on a business trip in another city (a city we love traveling to)...as we're letting each other go I admit, yes, it was me. He starts laughing, 'why didn't you tell me?' 'why didn't you leave a message?'... I said, 'well, what could I have said'... he asked what I had wanted... I told him the truth...I said it was a beautiful evening, I was finished work and I wanted to see him. Anyways, we let each other go, and he says "I love you, goodnight" and waits for me to say it back.
Phone rings a half hour later. He's walking down the street back to the hotel, in our favourite neighbourhood of this city, he's telling me all the stores he's walking past...tells me he's staying at 'our hotel' & if I were there we could have went out for a drink. As he's walking and talking...his phone dies.
What's up with the drunk dialing?
I still have this gut feeling he's met someone else...but who knows. Plus I know I shouldn't have called. I know & I'm going to hide my calling cards before I get back into my car again.

advicegal - i havet o admit and i didn't post it on here (too embarrassed after this same incident) that i drunk dialed my ex a few weekends ago.
Advicegal,
I go with everyone else when I say you made a slip-up. You gave him the control back for a moment, and I'm sure he loved it. Take it back. Resume NC, you're doing fine, keep going. :)
Thanks ladies.
This is definately a tough one.
Just to let ya know... haven't heard from him since his phone died.
Looks like he cared as much as I thought... which isn't much.
I feel like an idiot now for actually thinking we had a chance.
This reminds me of a puppy waiting for scraps... "oh! oh! oh! he called!"... pathetic.
You're absolutely right. No contact is best.
I wish I could focus on anything but him right now...I'm getting tired of my own rerun thoughts. How many times can my mind play the episode, over and over and over.
It's like I need a new mini series.... the single cute girl that moves on with her life and exciting new things soon begin happening. The theme song is a remixed upbeat version to "All by Myself...." with the lyrics rearranged to be positive.
(I heard that sappy song on the radio today...sheesh.)
Turn that song off when you hear it! Listen to "Time, Love and Tenderness" by Michael Bolton or "Nah" by Shania. I still cant listen to sad songs.
I'm on day 23 of the breakup, day 20 of NC, with a small slipup on my end a week and a half ago, in which i sent him a message saying I was sending his things. I did not start counting over again, for I kept it short, sweet, and didnt want anything back, sorta :) I have my moments when all that I can do is think about him and the good times, and how he suddenly changed. Now I realize it wasn't so "sudden" and I probably ignored some signs.
Something that helps me:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=24935.1&x=y
Thank you sooo much.
Well you seem to be doing really really well. I will try my best to keep up with the No Contact. I've done everything to let him know that I love him & would be with him and he still chooses to not come back to me and well, so be it. We can't force or control other people, no should we want to.
I definatly ignored the signs as well. And I can't turn back time nor pretend to be something that I am not. I like my independence & space and he liked attention.
Those quotes are so perfect right now. I love the one:
"The only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs."
On every level imaginable, that is so true.
I also liked my space, and HE had a very low self-esteem and needed a constant ego stroke. The roles were completely reversed. When we'd have one problem, it would be the end of the world to him, and eventually I just lost faith too. Do I think we could have worked harder...? Absolutely, however, the relationship that I wanted wasn't something he was capable of giving me. And the same for him; I was not