GOING home to break up with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
GOING home to break up with him
2
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 2:27pm

He cheated about a year and an half ago... I forgave him, but never forgot. Its been a hard route for me to learn to trust again, and maybe i never did REALLY trust him. My gut always knew that he might try it again. I snooped and today I found him telling some girl online that if he were to leave me, she would be first in line; that the 1st year of our relationship was a trial ( i didnt know that!)and that he was keeping his options open. I found soo much hurt in the past 2 days that I cant even feel anything right now.. I am so numb.

I have to leave him. I cant pretend anymore.. i have to do it today.

I wish he didnt do this to me.. I am really heartbroken and feel like a fool for taking him back after the last time. We talked marriage, kids.. and now i know that he said all those things cause he wanted to remain in a comfortable situation where he did little effort with a lot of return... Ive been used and lied to. I want him to love me...why cant he just love me and find peace within himself to see that what we have is good... but i know now that he will never love me back; its all a game and i feel played. Im humiliated thinking this woman says things knowing that Im around; that she is waiting for the day when he comes to her...hell, it might be tonight.

i cant even work, cant think straight... im hurting so thinking that I have to go home and tell him that 3 years of my life was wasted on a man who never cared for me and needed to be validated by every woman OTHER than me.

im humiliated and ashamed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 4:08pm

Welcome to the board missyfoosy,


You were in love. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 4:20pm

I'm sorry you're having to go through this.