GOING home to break up with him
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| Wed, 04-23-2008 - 2:27pm |
He cheated about a year and an half ago... I forgave him, but never forgot. Its been a hard route for me to learn to trust again, and maybe i never did REALLY trust him. My gut always knew that he might try it again. I snooped and today I found him telling some girl online that if he were to leave me, she would be first in line; that the 1st year of our relationship was a trial ( i didnt know that!)and that he was keeping his options open. I found soo much hurt in the past 2 days that I cant even feel anything right now.. I am so numb.
I have to leave him. I cant pretend anymore.. i have to do it today.
I wish he didnt do this to me.. I am really heartbroken and feel like a fool for taking him back after the last time. We talked marriage, kids.. and now i know that he said all those things cause he wanted to remain in a comfortable situation where he did little effort with a lot of return... Ive been used and lied to. I want him to love me...why cant he just love me and find peace within himself to see that what we have is good... but i know now that he will never love me back; its all a game and i feel played. Im humiliated thinking this woman says things knowing that Im around; that she is waiting for the day when he comes to her...hell, it might be tonight.
i cant even work, cant think straight... im hurting so thinking that I have to go home and tell him that 3 years of my life was wasted on a man who never cared for me and needed to be validated by every woman OTHER than me.
im humiliated and ashamed.

Welcome to the board missyfoosy,
You were in love. Don't be too hard on yourself.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.