WHat have I done?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2006
WHat have I done?!?!
4
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 5:49am

I have had a good relationship with this guy. I study in UK and was gonna see him in 20 days and spend the whole amazing summer together.

My dad has had health problems and my bf had been so supportive, caring, loving. He would cuddle me for hours. Our sex life was also amazing, I could just see the desire in his eyes and he was also telling it to me all the time.

Yet suddenly, this Saturday, he texted me saying he knows I am a liar and he is sick of people telling him stuff about me. He even said I was a slut. And he was soooo harsh on me. Telling me not to call him again. He was also drunk and said he would cheat on me and sleep with someone else. I know he was out with his friend who is also a friend of my ex but I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

The bottom line is I love him and miss him a lot. He texted yesterday morning saying that he can see me when i come back if i want but that he wont talk to me and I should not text any more. I replied saying I love you.
And this morning, I also said I miss you.
But nothing from him.

I am devastated. How can he go from the most amazing boy ever to this monster? I even told my parents...they want me to go on holidays somewhere sunny before going home to get a bit better. My friends say not to text him any more cause I have dignity. It is just that I miss him so much. What have I done?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 10:54am

What have *you* done???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 11:43am

Welcome to the board hermione89,


I agree with Sheri.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 2:27pm

Oh my. Seriously, you *have* done something horribly wrong. You've picked the wrong guy, is what it is.

Listen up but good: The real person you are with IS NOT the person who is sweet and kind and cuddly and cute. The real person ANY of us are with or are around is the one that comes out in the worst circumstances, and that is the truth. Which is why people sow very different colors after a breakup than they do at the beginning of a relationship. If you want to know the true measure of a person's character and worth, wait until you see them in an adverse situation, such as this thing about him listening to his little friends talk badly about you and him actually believing them without even asking you first.

If what you say is true, that you haven't done anything to warrant him questioning your loyalty, then I'd say he did you a HUGE favor to cut himself out of your life. Oh yeah, QUIT being sweet when he's being an abusive ass, believe me, it's getting you nowhere.

Then again, I have a feeling that since you were so very quick to accept his criticism, the one he's so very willing to dole out, that the two of you may find yourselves entwined for a long time to come. This is how abusive relationships start, by the way. One is very willing to abuse, and the other one is willing to take it. When you come to your senses and realize no one deserves to be treated that way, either by self-reflection or maybe even therapy, then you'll see this breakup for the gift it is.

Good luck,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2006
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 3:18pm

I just have no idea what went wrong.

Just a couple of days ago he was the best person I have knows, keeping my heart warm and being amazing.

The problem could be that his friend is also my ex's best friend and we have had a couple of problems about that ex....so even the slightest thing could have upset him.
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aaaaah life is just so ugly right now