Guilt over breaking up family- books?
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Guilt over breaking up family- books?
| Mon, 04-28-2008 - 5:47pm |
Hi all. New here and could use some help.
A very dear friend (really :)) is absolutely miserable in his marriage and wants a divorce, but is experiencing a lot of guilt over breaking up his family-- he has two small boys (1year and 4years) whom he adores. He doesn't have a whole lot of support as most of his friends are in his wife's family or out of town, and doesn't want to join a support group, but needs information on handling his guilt.
Looking for suggestions about books/websites for dealing with guilt over getting a divorce when there are kids involved; perhaps something to the effect of "you're a better parent when you're not miserable", if for no other reason than to get another way of thinking in there. Any ideas?
Thanks,
Hoyator

Welcome to the board hoyator,
From my grandmother: change the G in guilt to a G for graditude and focus on what you are grateful for.
Most people have a hard time with the guilt when a marriage ends, especially when kids are involved.
I'm wondering why he wants to divorce, since you haven't mentioned him trying to work on the marriage?
Happy doesn't just happen. You'd be surprised at how many people are unaware of that.
Thanks for the support?
They're on their 8th marriage counselor, to include therapists, counselors, priests, etc. If you have any suggestions as to reading, etc. I'd love to hear them!
Carrie,
Thank you so much for your suggestions. As mentioned below, he's been to several counselors with his wife and has had an individual counselor for about a year. They've separated and are at the stage where it's just the last shot and they're both aware of it. :( No good all around. In any case, trying to give him some support. I appreciate your help.
Hoyator