how to break up when...
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how to break up when...
| Fri, 05-02-2008 - 7:23pm |
How do you break-up with someone when you are pregnant with them? I know I need to leave the relationship, and I think he wants the same, but neither of us will just "do it". I know the best way for me to get over relationships is No Contact. Any contact at all puts me right back into the whole thing and really destroys me. But he wants to be apart of our child's life, I don't want to deny him that and I want him to be...but this is hard for me. I am making a choice to actually move out of state so we won't see each other, but I know he will still call and I know deep down, I want him to call and see how I am and how the baby is doing. I don't know what to do, or how to do it!

You will do what's best for you (maybe not while you're pregnant, as you will feel very vulnerable), but as that belly grows and you know that child inside of you will one day need a "happy mommy," that alone will give you the strength to leave.
I have a child.
My child's father (after a 5 year relationship) suddenly had a mid-life crisis when I got pregnant in my early twenties, this after talking about marriage and children for years...he'd do what was necessary of him, i.e. show up at the ultra-sound, pick me up from work(sometimes)...but most of the time I didn't know where he was & who he was with. Lipstick would show up in my car(I hate lipstick)...he started frequenting strip bars, he'd come home late at night and promised me "oh, I'll change once the baby is born."
He'd dissapear for a weekend while my father and I painted and decorated the baby room.
I sadly (looking back) gave him that chance (to see if he would change once the baby was born), however, after the baby was born, I called his work one day to see what he'd like for dinner that evening only to hear "um, he didn't work today?"...following that I found repeated calls to a phone number on our phone bill, I called the number and it was a female bartender, "oh, we're just friends, but he tried to pick me up."
Needless to say, when I had enough, our child was only 2 months old. I walked out the door with our baby in my arms and never looked back while he pleaded "but I love you"...right. He remained in her life only to appear with other clueless women to pick our child up for scheduled court ordered visits while wearing expensive clothing (as he contribued nothing financially). Eventually he stopped contact altogether, and to this day, I receive not a penny from him. I have raised our child completely on my own, paid for everything, sports, clothing, you name it.
Perhaps my story isn't as bad as yours, but, look at your stomach and feel the life inside of you. Know that they will be better off in a happy home and with a strong mother. When that baby is born, you will see the true colours of the father.
We're here for you.
Welcome to the board marti_mar,
You are in a difficult position and it's not an easy decision to help.
You know its the best thing to do...you want to do it