"Get with the times", & moving on...
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 05-05-2008 - 6:11am |
Hi folks,
I have done what I can honestly say was the hardest heart-wrenching thing to ever have done: break up with my g/f of 6months. It completely destroyed her. She was head over heels, 'Loved me more than words would express. It didn't end pretty either, unfortunately. I couldn't get her to leave my house, so I left. I had to call her friend to come get her. She was literally on her knees as I pulled away. To make matters worse she then walked to my parent's (just a house down) and had an hour-long conversation with them. So now my old-fashioned parents are involved (Dad's 69).
First, how do you explain to people that no contact is really the best way? Her and I had a small 'bout before, and I thouht we were done, but she wanted to make it work on a lesser level. It turns out that she couldn't handle being 'less' involved, to holster her feelings when around me (which I can understand). In many ways I think that I'm a fool for 'throwing away' someone that loves you so much. I'm sure that's what my parent's are thinking. Am I (a fool that is)?
I tried to explain this to my sister last night... I don't think that you should have to justify or explain your feelings. You don't have control over them, so when the heart says it's just not there with someone, I mean, the feelings just aren't there. She loved me more than anyone ever has, gave me all of herself, but I just couldn't find the feelings to return. I *shouldn't* have any reason to *not* love her, but I wasn't about to imitate

It sounds like you're doing the right thing.
" How do you explain the no contact rule? " NC is to be done and not explained. If you are done , you are done.period. It was well thought from your POV,you did your job by telling her etc. , now how she reacts to it can be different but not your responsibility any more.
its your life and you decide who you want to be with.
Welcome to the board slipnfall,
I agree you don't have to explain 'no contact' to anyone.