"Get with the times", & moving on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
"Get with the times", & moving on...
3
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 6:11am

Hi folks,


I have done what I can honestly say was the hardest heart-wrenching thing to ever have done: break up with my g/f of 6months. It completely destroyed her. She was head over heels, 'Loved me more than words would express. It didn't end pretty either, unfortunately. I couldn't get her to leave my house, so I left. I had to call her friend to come get her. She was literally on her knees as I pulled away. To make matters worse she then walked to my parent's (just a house down) and had an hour-long conversation with them. So now my old-fashioned parents are involved (Dad's 69).


First, how do you explain to people that no contact is really the best way? Her and I had a small 'bout before, and I thouht we were done, but she wanted to make it work on a lesser level. It turns out that she couldn't handle being 'less' involved, to holster her feelings when around me (which I can understand). In many ways I think that I'm a fool for 'throwing away' someone that loves you so much. I'm sure that's what my parent's are thinking. Am I (a fool that is)?


I tried to explain this to my sister last night... I don't think that you should have to justify or explain your feelings. You don't have control over them, so when the heart says it's just not there with someone, I mean, the feelings just aren't there. She loved me more than anyone ever has, gave me all of herself, but I just couldn't find the feelings to return. I *shouldn't* have any reason to *not* love her, but I wasn't about to imitate

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 11:45am

It sounds like you're doing the right thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:07pm

" How do you explain the no contact rule? " NC is to be done and not explained. If you are done , you are done.period. It was well thought from your POV,you did your job by telling her etc. , now how she reacts to it can be different but not your responsibility any more.

its your life and you decide who you want to be with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-06-2008 - 12:51am

Welcome to the board slipnfall,


I agree you don't have to explain 'no contact' to anyone.