Did it-Confronted EX after 6 months!?
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Did it-Confronted EX after 6 months!?
| Tue, 05-06-2008 - 1:53pm |
I did it. I was posting on the other thread, and decided to do it, I called him at work. He was shocked. I was completely calm. He wanted to take control of the conversation, but I just said, "how is Rochelle?" He stuttered and balked. I advised him calmly that I expect him to lie, as that is what he does. That I find it ironic that he called her right after we broke up, and then the phone # appears on his cell bill in March, when he thought it was not on my account. He stammered and said he met her at the

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Hi Michelle,
Now What? Was I wrong?
What do you want to do now?
Hey there,
I'm not sure why you'd WANT to go out on a date with him even if he was willing, given his behavior?
To be honest, he is not worth you worrying if you were right or wrong.
You got it out of your system, and DO NOT give him the satisfaction of seeing you. Besides, you don't know his intentions. Write his name of a sheet of paper, stike a match and set it on fire along with your doubts.
Oh goodness, does no one listen to us?
Hi-
Yes, I know it was out of character for me to do this. And I was in the mode of self healing. I saw my therapist last night and I talked to her about this. She asked me what I wanted-the truth. Then she asked me what I expected, and I said lies. We both agreed he is a coward and a proven liar. SO I received what I expected and what everyone was stating on the other thread.
About the "date". I am never going to see him again. It was almost similar to a dare, juvenile on my part, I admit. If he wants to see me to alleviate any guilt he has, so he can move forward, he will be waiting a long time. He is too much of a coward. He has his little girl friend, and if she can deal w/ a Moma's boy, they will be fine. I could never even kiss him..I can understand why this is confusing. He lives 80 miles away, and will never just drive here. I certainly will not go there as I probably was there maybe 6 times in 4 years.
I feel bad about myself that I was dispicable.
I guess I am just jealous of him, not her. The fact that he has this relationship, and I do not. I want a relationship w/ someone whom is right for me, which this person is definitely not. But since I am not
seachells
Ah,
Thanks Sheri-
You are right, I never looked at it that way. He is most likely being as repressed and dysfunctional w/her as he was with me. I identified it immediately, perhaps she has not, or she has and likes that he will buy her whatever she would want. He is the type that could be used easily, which, of course I would never do. But not everyone acts like me.
I am better off being alone, than w/ someone I was settling for. ANd I know I am not prepared for a relationship right now. I have a lot of "me" work to do.
The best thing I can do is instead of thinking of what I lost- a liar & someone I was settling for, I should be thinking what I will gain, a stronger Michelle.
seachells
No one here is angry with you. These things unfortunately do happen. From my perspective of "seeing" so many brokenhearted people over the last few years, this kind of stuff keeps happening over and over and it's just not a healthy thing so we try to put it out there, what typically results, so that hopefully someone will avert inflicting unnecessary pain on themselves. But, like I said in another post, many people need to go through things themselves.
The board's always here for everyone to vent safely.
Sandra-
Thanks. I do not know why I did this. I knew he would lie, and expected lies. But it still makes me upset that he cannot be truthful about what occurred. I was always very truthful w/ him about my feelings. Since he has nothing to loose by finally telling me the truth, why do they resist. The truth is so much easier. When I lie, I feel so poorly about myself. He could care less about my feelings, so why not tell me the truth? Are these guys
seachells
Neither. It's simply the idea of denial, denial, denial. Some people will go down still denying on their deathbed. So I'd suggest you LET GO and quit resisting the fact that he's a proficient liar. You can't make him not be a liar, and you're eventually going to give yourself a very big headache banging your head against that wall.
Besides, even if the truth IS what he says it is, YOU are convinced of what you think and therefore, anything other than what you're telling yourself smells like a lie to you.
Why'd you do it? Because your counselor gave you the impression it was okay to do. I think if they'd said something distinctly against it, you might not have done it. Not to say it's their fault or they encouraged you, you are most definitely responsible for your own decisions and actions, I'm just thinking you would have thought about it a bit more.
Either way, it's done and you just need to move forward from here. And quit beating yourself up.
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