You're An Adult! Cut Your Own Food!
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| Thu, 07-07-2005 - 9:27pm |
My husband just got angry with me because I didn't cut up his chicken for him. What!? I said if he were 3 yrs. old and couldn't handle a knife I would cut his food for him, otherwise he can do it himself. He said "well, you cut yours up I don't see why it would be so hard for you to cut mine before you brought it over to me". I just made him dinner and brought it over to him while he sat on the couch, just getting back from playing golf. I told him I am not his maid nor am I his mother. He put up his hand and gave me a look like I better stop talking and just said "Stop, stop right now." Like if I didn't stop talking he was going to erupt in anger.
I am so angry, both with him and with myself for allowing myself to be treated in such a manner.
Just to give you a little backround, I am a grown woman, 34 yrs. old and he's 38. We've been married for over 6 years, have no children and both work full time jobs. What in the world makes him think it's ok to expect anyone to cut his food for him? I am just disgusted!
Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm wondering the same things as Rayny is. The picture I have is that over the six years the two of you have been married he's not indicated that you should *tend* to him in this way (hard to find a word to describe what he seems to be expecting, I'm thinking along the lines of King Louis IV!) until now. I can totally understand your reaction. What are you, his slave? Who is he to expect such treatment? I think I'd be prone to sitting down to dinner tomorrow night and before he gets the chance to start eating, ask him if you should trade plates so you can cut up each other's food. Not that it would be helpful, but it's my style. Sarcastic to the end.
What in the world do you think possessed him to say that? Have you considered buying a jar of processed meat baby food, explaining that it'll be even easier for him to eat and won't take nearly the work that cutting up the meat would. Again -- not a constructive move, this one was for fantasy entertainment only!
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:Understanding the Opposite Sex
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Would he like you to spoon feed him too? Geesh, what's wrong with him? I hope he's not this demanding all the time.
I think I would have put the chicken in the blender and pureed and put it in a glass with a straw. That way he doesn't even have to chew. LOL
Thank you to those who responded. I really appreciate the support! I've never participated in this kind of message board/forum before. So, yes, I am a "newbie".
Often, my husband says or does things that I think are totally way off base and I wonder if he's completely wrong or if it is me. It feels good to find a forum where I can just throw these scenarios out there and get a totally unbiased opinion. I am an educated, professional woman who comes from a close family and a happy childhood. So, it's not like my life has been riddled with "issues". But, I am embarrassed to discuss this with my friends. I know they see me as the strong, independent type and they would question why I ever put up with this kind of behavior. I don't want to but, I am not sure how to handle it. Plus, when I get over it, I know my friends will always remember and look at my husband a little differently. It's difficult to admit but I guess we are all in the business of judging others.
I think my husband secretly wants(or expects)me to do certain things around the house and sees it as my way of showing him I care about him. I am not domestic. I don't like cleaning, cooking, etc. I know, I know. We all have to do it to some extent. I'll admit, we do have a cleaning lady. I guess I am just of the opinion that this is a partnership. If I cook then you clean the dishes. I'll do the bills and you take out the trash, etc. When he says things like he did last night I question who this person is.
Some of the things he comes out with are crazy. Again, from your responses, it's nice to hear that it's not me, it's him. I know noone is perfect but I wonder how much other people "put up with".
Welcome to the board -- and to these forums in general as well, I'm glad you found it helpful.
As far as your idea of partnership goes, I agree with you 100%.
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Thanks for your input!
I'll be the first to admit, I am a bad communicator and I run from conflict. When things are going good the last thing I want to do is bring up a subject that will cause tension. But, you are right, I do need to talk about it at some point. My approach of sweeping it under the carpet has lasted six years but will not be successful in the long run.
Oh yeah, that sweeping problems under the carpet to make them "go away" doesn't work.
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"