Losing Interest?
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Losing Interest?
| Tue, 07-12-2005 - 1:36pm |
My BF and I have 3 kids each. He has his 1/2 the time (ages 12, 9 and 6). I have mine all of the time (ages 16, 15 and 13). We spend time together (all of us), but we also try to have some "quality time" alone.
Here is the problem: If we spend a weekend together, the first night is amazing..ie we talk, have dinner, "etc". But then the second day, for some reason always seems to be not as exciting. Do you think we're getting bored with each other? We are planning to get married hopefully next year, so this scares me. What happens if this happens when we get married.
We do have great communication, love and respect for each other...

Welcome to the board, Momdancer2005 ~
You two sure have a handful combined, don't you?! I have a couple of questions that will make answering your question easier:
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:Understanding the Opposite Sex
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
# Do you live together? If you don't, how often do you see each other? Talk to each other?
We don't live together. We live 40 minutes from each other. We talk at least once a day, and see each other anywhere from 2-3 times a week.
# How long have you been together?
4 years
# When you say the first night is amazing but then the second day, always seems to be not as exciting do you mean for you, for him or for both of you?
This is my feeling only. I haven't even discussed this with him yet. I wanted some advice first.
# This "not so exciting" second day, has it always been like that or is this something that's come up as your relationship went along? And if it happened over time, at what point in your relationship did it start happening?
This just seems to be happening lately. Again, this is MY feeling.
# Have you talked to him about this? If not, why and if so, what does he think about it?
If I say anything about him "losing interest" or "getting bored", he says absolutely not. He says things like this happen when couples are together for awhile. I dont believe that.
I assume there are no issues or irritations between you? There aren't any areas that you're dissatisfied with, behaviors that get to you or disagreements that are maybe under the surface, not spoken about but not resolved? Nothing happens during those weekends that bothers you? There are no differences between day #1 and day #2 other than your feelings? No interruptions, necessary chores or any routine things that are done on day #2 that you aren't particularly thrilled with? It seems to me there must be something behind this, if it were just lack of interest you wouldn't be thrilled about day #1 either. Tell us about a typical weekend together. What's his personality like, what's yours like? Do his kids get in the way? Do yours? Tell us about you two!
I find it odd that you think he'd insist he is not losing interest or getting bored since you also think he'd say this kind of thing happens when couples have been together for a while; the two statements seem a little contradictory, don't you think?
I don't blame you for being concerned about this, if it were me, I wouldn't move forward with any wedding plans until I'd figured this out, you sure don't want to marry into a relationship that's not making you happy.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:Understanding the Opposite Sex
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"