starting over

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
starting over
1
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 11:49am
I'd like to start over with my husband. I'm not sure how to begin. I know he loves me. I'm not sure what has happened to my love for him. We have been married for almost 13 years and have two children. I love them and want desperately to be able to provide them with a loving home. However, I feel lost. I feel like I'm not in love with my husband anymore and I'm not sure why. He seems to do the right things. I say I love you to him but it's without any feeling behind the words. Sometimes I just sit and cry wishing I felt something. I don't feel like I can say anything to him because what would I possibly say? Any thoughts from anyone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sabssa
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 3:09pm

Welcome Sabssa ~


Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond to you, I've been out of town and just got back last night.


It's hard to say without knowing more about your situation, but I think a really common reason for the way you're feeling is from becoming disconnected from your husband due. It happens pretty easily if you put your relationship aside as you tend to "more important" things, such as kids, household chores and maintenance and all that goes along with the busy lives we lead. If you focus on dealing with day to day life and don't take the time to tend to the relationship you and your husband have, making time for each other -- just the two of you, no kids, no house, out where the pressures, problems and chores of daily life don't keep you from really relaxing and focusing on each other, it's easy to get so far apart that eventually you realize your feelings for him are as far back in time as is the time you really spent time together. In other words, you get disconnected; nothing's really happened to cause you to dislike or be upset with each other, you're more like compatible roommates than lovers. I'll stop there until I hear whether that's possibly the cause for you. Do you think that might be the case for you, Sabssa?





~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Crisis Center: Rape and Suicide








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"