cold feet or depression?
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 09-25-2005 - 11:58am |
I have been with my fiance' for over 41/2 years. We just bought a house together, just engaged a month ago, and she just started a new job. We both just turned 30 this year and were very excited about everything going on. We have had a great fun loving relationship. She survived 9/11 and got out of tower 2 just in time and since our bond has grown to be stronger than ever. She has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and is on antidepressants. She just started a new drug 2 months ago. Now just in the last 2 weeks, she has completely just been irrational, she doesn't know if she is in love with me anymore, doesn't want to be a statistic about divorce, she feels like she's changing and doesn't know what is going on with her. She is not happy, she just seems depressed. She says's she feels like we're just 2 best friends living together and so on. Our sex life has been great during all this time, we are very supportive and loyal to each other. Don't know if this is cold feet, could she have just fallen out of love with me? or is this depression and fear? She has been very concerned and watches the news on katrina victims and wants to help with the red cross. She has taken the past week to be by herself without any communication. She went home to see her mom and we have not spoken. She doesn't even talk with her best friend or any of her close friends right now either. What do I do? I'm going crazy, b/c I love this woman very much and want to marry her. Could she just fall out of love with me or is there more?
Thanks.

You mention couples therapy, which is always a good idea, but these are her issues to work through, not yours; I don't know how much you'd get out of couples therapy as it pertains to these kinds of issues. What's not clear to me is whether or not she's seeing a therapist on her own? Is she seeing a mental health person or is her regular MD prescribing the PTSD meds? Obviously, she should be seeing a counselor or other qualified mental health clinician. I would strongly suggest you call him or her and report the changes and behavior you're seeing in her. Her MD/mental health clinician will not be able to discuss her case with you, but can certainly take what you report and be in a much better position to help her as a result.
There are two boards on the iVillage Health and Well Being channel that might also be good places to post your questions:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Antidepressant Medications
Best of luck, Laszlog, this can't be at all easy for you; being unable to do much but sit and wait isn't a very good place to be in. What are you doing for you? What are you doing to keep your own stress and worry level down? What are you doing with yourself? Let us know how it goes.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:Sexual Pleasure
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"