anxiety destroying relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
anxiety destroying relationship
3
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:05pm
deleted


Edited 10/26/2005 4:36 pm ET by confusednaz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:43pm

I hear your pain loud and clear...

Did you ever have a relationship before where someone left? Or did something ever happen in your family? It sounds like you have an abandonment issue possibly along with low self esteem...
What kind of person are you? Are you outgoing and fun or more introverted?

If you can you should both probably find some things to do separately so you're not so dependent on him for all your attention. It may alleviate some of the anxiety you're having too. Or maybe trying to spend time with friends with him with other people so he doesn't feel isolated; one thing I'm struggling with in my relationship is trying to establish good and healthy relationships outisde of my romantic one - you really need that. If you suffocate him too much he will soon feel not able to breathe and may be why he's experiencing some depression.

I think you may need to work on your self-esteem too to see why you are worth his love. Obviously he sees you are so very worth it but you may need to see it about yourself too. I'm working on this one myself right now. Maybe talk to someone (therapist) or look up info on increasing your self esteem - I don't know what you would have to do to incorporate those things into your life right now...I'm sure 2nd life will be around to give you some good pointers and there's a lot of good resources on this site for you to go to.

One girl said she really concentrated on improving herself and it made her relationship so much better and made her boyfriend seem to even want her more. I know I need to do this because our relationship has deteriorated since my self-esteem has declined. It sounds like you need to work on it too...

Work on yourself, I would hate to see you lose something so great and just know that obviously this guy loves you, he thinks you're great and worth giving the effort to otherwise he wouldn't be with you and if you found a guy so great there's a lot to be said for that. You obviously have a lot to offer so find your confidence in that...good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 10:00pm

What happened, Confusednaz? What happened to make you decide to delete your post? I had planned to answer you as soon as I got home from work and an so surprised to find your post gone. I hope you're okay.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 2:53pm
Confusednaz,
I hope I didn't say anything to upset or offend you. I do hope you will come back and post again just to let us know how you're doing...
Take care and know you're not alone.