How do I say goodbye?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2002
How do I say goodbye?
17
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 5:12pm

I

~Live to be happy~Be happy to live~

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 10:12pm

Don't see him, just leave it be. You two have said goodbye a million times that it means nothing, it's just another excuse to drag out drama and for him to beat you up emotionally. So he unblocked his email, great. That doesn't mean you are required to send something to him. Just don't. Let it go, let it die, turn your back, walk away. You don't need another reason or excuse for "one more" contact.


His name is on the note too, if he drops it he'll be hurting his own credit. You saying good bye or not is not going to make him stop paying it. He'll do what he chooses regardless. Time to stop living based on what he does, is going to do or might do. Walk away silently. Enough. Myrinalyn.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Living Together








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2002
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 2:47pm

I did what you said and I didn't call or email him.

~Live to be happy~Be happy to live~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 3:22pm

There is no reason for you to have continued conversations with him, you've told him it's over so it's done, period.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 10:16pm

You are still trying to get him to validate your feelings and agree that the relationship is over, and that he is at least partly to blame. That will never happen, and you need to let go of the wish that it will. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. He will never transform from the kind of person he is to the kind of person who is able to say, "Yes, my character flaws made it impossible for us to maintain a relationship. Good bye, and be happy."

You cannot get closure and a conclusion to the relationship from him. You just have to do what cl-secondlife says, and completely end all contact, from either direction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 6:21pm
It's simple: "DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE", DON'T OPEN HIS MAILS....DELETE....DELETE..DELETE..
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-29-2005 - 3:32pm

I agree completely Maryanne. I only mentioned answering the phone because she'd said before that he calls her at work, where she mans the switchboard; she has to answer (although if she has caller ID on her work phone that wouldn't be necessary). If he calls her at home, absolutely she should not answer, but more than that, she should block his number so his calls simply don't go through, ending the controversy of "should I answer or should I not".







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

my signature exchange partner:

Living Together








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2002
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 11:04am

On Friday, he called or texed me more then a dozen times.

~Live to be happy~Be happy to live~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 12:44pm

Myrinalyn, if you see your ex tonight you are shooting yourself in the foot.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 1:12pm

Closure is something you give yourself. He can't give it to you. He's not going to say 'good luck myrinalyn, you made the right choice'.

If you are done with him, really done, than it does NOT matter the sequence of events, the truth of what happened (did he cheat or didn't he) if you are breaking up for you, then his choices, decisions, behavior, words should NOT matter to you at all.


Carrie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 5:14pm

Ok, what part of STOP TALKING TO HIM are you not hearing?

Whether he cheated on you DOES NOT MATTER.

Whether he cheated or not, he is still an ABUSER.

Whether he goes to church or not, he is still an ABUSER.

ABUSERS do not change (ok, *1%* of them do, but that's such a small percentage it's best to think of it as zero).

You are focusing on the WRONG THINGS.

Getting back together with an ex who was also an ABUSER is a mistake also.

Sheri

Pages