ex's and their stupid dogs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
ex's and their stupid dogs
14
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 4:57pm
What is peoples prespective on dog custody??? My fiance has been divorced for a 2 yrs and we have been together 1.5 yrs and his ex just started taking the dog when she doesn't work on the weekends. I am sorry but if you can be with someone 10 yrs married for 1 and get divorced you can let go of the dog. My daughter gets upset when the dog leaves. I can see if the dog were older and whatever. Seriously I think this is retarded. I also hate that it bothers me so much but really move on get your own dog!!!!!!!1

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 5:41pm

>>I am sorry but if you can be with someone 10 yrs married for 1 and get divorced you can let go of the dog.<<

She obviously cares for the dog more than she did for her husband. This is why they divorced.

Look, I know all about getting annoyed at yourself because of how you react to little things....but seriously, this is one to let go. If your daughter really gets upset at loosing the dog every other weekend, get her a puppy of her own.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 5:56pm

I agree with Aisha -- if it upsets your daughter, get her a dog of her own.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 6:23pm
That is the thing is that she does just do it for that reason. She emails him about questions about her new house and crap. Ya know you cheated on your husband and thew away your marriage. You abvioulsy didn't want to be there so why should she get to take the dog. She only takes her when she is not working on the weekend and only started doing this consistantly for 3 months. I just want her to go away. I think it bothers be because they have such a long history and i am protective/jealous when she comes around. If my spouse ever cheated on me. They go and they don't get to take anythign with them. ya know
thanks for letting me vent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 10:17pm
Perhaps your issue is more with your partner than with the ex? Are you upset because he doesn't do things the way you think they should be done?
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 12:44am

tell her to keep the dog and you and your daughter go pick up a dog that will be hers 24/7.

I think she's doing it to be spiteful and to lash out at her ex by hurting your child's feelings because she knows the child loves that dog--she knows that that will cause problems in your household; not that she's so in love with the dog.. if that was the case, she'd have sued for possession of the dog along with the rest of the property division when the divorce first went down.




Edited 9/29/2006 12:46 am ET by quenek
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 2:42am
It sounds like this is about everything but the dog. Questions, if you don't mind:


  • How old is the dog?
  • Has she always taken the dog on occasion?


    You seem to be suggesting that she's using the dog as an excuse to stay in contact with her ex, which could very well be. I assume that she's never contacted her ex unless she had the excuse of the dog to call about, yes? And that's increased dramatically. Unfortunately, the bottom line is, he's handling this situation the way he wants to. In reality, your issue is with him, not her. He allows her to contact, he allows himself to engage in conversation with her (and be used by her if that's what she's doing). I will say also that I don't think there's anything wrong with ex's being decent and amicable to each other.


    You've said that you get jealous/protective when she's around, you indicate that you're concerned about cheating. Has your boyfriend ever cheated, or have you been cheated on before?


    What does your boyfriend think of this whole thing? I expect he's pretty well aware of how you feel about it, does he agree or does he think you're out of line? I'm assuming she talks to him about a lot more than just the dog when she calls?

    I know my questions may seem like I'm leaning towards you being all wrong and her being perfectly fine and innocent, but that's not what I think. I need a better understanding of the situation before I can form an opinion - I've seen some women that will do anything to try to get a guy who's already in a relationship, and I've seen some women who are extremely jealous of completely appropriate contact between their guy and an ex. Let me know, okay?








  • ~ cl-2nd_life

    "Experience is what you get
    when you don't get what you want."

    ~ Author unknown








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    Avatar for northwestwanderer
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Fri, 09-29-2006 - 9:28pm

    Wow. So people who cheat and have kids shouldn't be able to see their kids, either? A pet should be treated the same way, IMO. People get attached!!! There's nothing wrong with that.

    Sheri

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-31-2004
    Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:27am

    No one should use either a pet or a child as an instrument of

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Sat, 09-30-2006 - 11:38am
    She may be using the dog as an excuse to contact her ex with the intent (possibly) of reuniting with him. It's hard to say without more answers from Kboynton.








    ~ cl-2nd_life

    "Experience is what you get
    when you don't get what you want."

    ~ Author unknown








    "Ignoring the facts
    does not change the facts"
    Avatar for northwestwanderer
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 03-26-2003
    Sat, 09-30-2006 - 11:42am

    Mmm...well, we are only getting one side of the story here. We don't KNOW for sure that's what the ex is doing--maybe that's just the OP's spin on it. In any event, I doubt very much that a little girl couldn't adapt to the dog being gone for a couple days at a time if the situation were presented to her in a non-judgmental way.

    Sheri

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