fighting gone out of control
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fighting gone out of control
| Tue, 10-03-2006 - 2:17am |
my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year and living together for a few months. i am 18 years old and he is 21. i know for a fact that we are in love. we are so compatible and when we're not fighting we get along perfectly. i am very open and try to talk about my problems with him but he has a temper problem especially after drinking. he's been depressed with all the things he's been having to go through for the past month and we've been fighting alot. then we got into worse than we ever have before, now he's telling me that he thinks we need to spend two weeks apart from each other. i dont want to at all and i dont really understand how thats going to help, but i've decided to do it anyways if its what he needs. he says he's not mad at me and that the reason he wants to take a break instead of breaking up for good is because he cares about me enought to give us a second chance. does the whole "break" thing really work? and why? are we just wasting our time? how do i know if this is real and that we really are good for each other? i need hope that things are going to get better.

As far as your statement, "we get along perfectly when we aren't fighting" I have to admit it make me chuckle. Don't we all get along perfectly when we're not fighting! The issue is how often we fight, what we fight about, and the manner in which we fight. So my question to you would be how often do you fight, what do you fight about and how do your fights go (what are they about, what causes them and how are they resolved, etc.)?
You said he's been depressed with all that he's been going through this past month, what he's been going through and in what ways is he showing his depression? What's he doing about his problems and what's he doing to deal with his depression? Also - is depression an issue that he deals with from time to time?
Why does he want to be apart for these two weeks? If he's suggesting it to take a break from the fighting, what else are you doing to resolve your fighting? Taking a break will certainly stop the fighting for as long as you're apart, but unless you deal with the problems that result in the fights, the fighting will resume when you get back together.
As far as your questions about whether you're wasting your time, how you know this will work, I'll be able to answer your questions a lot better when I have the answers to the questions I've asked. As much detail and background as you want to give would be a good thing. Know too that as far as you saying you need hope, I'll tell you that I can't promise you'll get that here. What I can promise you'll get is honest answers.
I'll be checking back for your answers ~
~ cl-2nd_life"Experience is what you get
when you don't get what you want."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"