Moved in together/overwhelmed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Moved in together/overwhelmed!
4
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:15pm
Okay, so I wrote a few weeks ago about being scared to move in with my sweetie. But, last week we moved in together and we have started our lives together. However, some feelings have begun to surface that have scared me to death! First of all, I am feeling overwhelmed with this whole living together thing...I LOVE living with him....but I am terrified that if something doesn't work out, I will have to struggle to pay the rent with our one year lease (simply because my dad is the co-signer). So anyway...I go through this thing everyday.....in the mornings I wake up and I'm by myself (he sleeps later than I do) and while I'm watching television, I start to think about what I could be missing out on and what I could be doing if we weren't together. But then he wakes up and I feel different. I'm glad to spend my days with him and we enjoy each other's company. I just think that sometimes we are spending too much time together. He started his new job last week but has only worked once....
I am soooo confused! I am also scared that he is going to propose sooner than I want. I am only 19-he is 26. We have both talked about getting married and getting engaged and as much as I want that, I don't want it right now. I want to live my life and enjoy things and I don't want to rush into marriage.
What should I do? I don't want to break up with him by any means because I know I would regret that. I love this man and he still makes me heart flutter. I just get overwhelmed and I sometimes feel like it's moving too quickly. HELP ME PLEASE!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:38pm

Hi Singertaryn ~


I'm peeking in from work, saw your post and noticed that you said you were here a few weeks ago, posting about fear of moving in with your boyfriend.








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:30pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:37am
Thanks for the info, Quenek. I don't believe Taryn has been back since she posted, so I assume either she posted this message on several boards and forgot that she posted one here, or her problem's been resolved. I expect she'll let us know if she comes back and is still looking for help.


Without having read her previous posts, I'd say if you're ambivalent about moving in, you're ambivalent for a reason; if it's the right thing for you to be doing, you wouldn't feel hesitation. Going ahead and putting yourself in a situation that you don't feel good about will most certainly lead to feelings of concern and being overwhelmed.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

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"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 10:45pm
Just see how things go... when I first moved in with my boyfriend I knew it was the right thing, but of course it is a big step. You will only learn more about each other and grow closer. After 3+ years I am still with my boyfriend and we are best friends. Its like having a sleep over every night. Its okay to feel overwhelmed at times, we are only human. But DO NOT rush into anything such as marriage - it will only backfire on you. You are young, have fun and just take it ONE step at a time.