new girl friend
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new girl friend
| Fri, 10-27-2006 - 3:40pm |
what do I do about this... my bf of 6 years, went out of the country for work, and met a girl (not doing work stuff). At first, I asked if he met anyone he liked/was attracted to-and he admited to it, but i thought ok, he would never see/talk to her again so what and I totally trust him. now I found out he talks to her on the phone twice a week-she lives in a different state. i got super mad-now we might break up....he claims its ok to "meet new people" "make new friends"-i claim that doesn't include non-colleagues and women that he's obviously attracted to. Also, he was already planning on moving to the city she lives in next spring (well, we had always talked about moving there together)-the other thing that strikes me is that he HATES talking on the phone, won't even call me when he's out of town, never answers the phone when his family/friends call-they always have to go through me to get ahold of him. obviously all the signs are bad here-before he went on this trip we were seriously talking about marriage-finally... now he's not sure. I have no problem giving him time, as this is a big step, but I also don't want him to use this time to start another relationship behind my back. he tells me to relax, that I overanalyze things-but this is exactly how our relationship started in the first place-which I can't ignore his history of suddenly getting close with a new girl when a relationship is winding down. Basically, my question is.... after 6 years of leading me on should i continue to wait and pretend everything is fine or do i give up because its VERY difficult wondering what he's doing talking to this girl after I told him its inappropriate and hurtful. on a good note-I think he's talking to her to work out his feelings for me and commitment, and our relationship seems to be getting more positive-could she actually be a good influence??? but then my negativity takes over and I worry that he's just avoiding his problems with me but distracting himself with her.

Mostly, I don't understand how you can paint this negative picture and state that he's led you on for six years, then say your relationship is better. Off the top, I'd say if you've been lead on for six years, you should have left about 5 years and six months ago. Why would you continue to stay with someone who's leading you on? I'm very confused about what's going on here.
~ cl-2nd_life"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
you write: "he claims its ok to "meet new people" "make new friends"-i claim that doesn't include non-colleagues and women that he's obviously attracted to."
there's one thing you need to know: you can't control anyone but yourself...