In love with my wife and another woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
In love with my wife and another woman.
20
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 7:50pm

Is it wrong to love two different women at the same time? My wife and I decided to swing with another couple. We both have developed strong feelings for the other couple. My wife knows I really like this other women, but doesn't know I love her. What do I do? It was my wife's idea to start this swing thing now I have fallen to deep, I love both of these woman in different ways. Please help....

Shannon

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 10:01pm
Shanman, I'm not sure why this is a problem or what you want to do about it. You say you both have developed strong feelings for this couple, which would indicate your wife has strong feelings for the husband as well. It seems to me you can keep the depth of your feelings to yourself and continue to have a relationship with this woman without a problem. Apparently that's not the solution you're looking for?







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 10:54pm
Did you and your wife lay any 'ground rules' before you started swinging? If so, what where they?
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 11:20pm

The fact you are asking for help makes me think you realize you can't sustain two relationships at the same time for long.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 10:53am
Your profile says that you have 2 children. How old are they?
I think you know where I'm going with this question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 11:37am
My children are 15 and 11. What did you have on your mind????
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 12:17pm

It is possible to love two people at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 12:38pm
See my response to you on the Relationship Saver Board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 12:39pm
Yes at first I did have reservations. How ever, We are so secure in our relationship that I think this is something we can overcome. I dont want to choose maybe that sounds greaty but that is the way I feel. I have an appointment with a counceler Monday by my self, to maybe help me sort through some of my feelings. I dated a couple of different woman in college and other then my wife, I have never had these strong a feeling for another person. I am so damn confused.........
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:02pm
Am I understanding that you want to cut all ties with this other couple and strengthen the relationship with your wife? Are you not sure whether you want to continue with your wife or begin a monogamous relationship with this other woman or are you simply not at all sure what you want to do?


Have you checked with the Taboos board to see if others who engage in open relationships have encountered this problem and how it resolved?


You may think that my earlier post was flippant, but it was not. It's hard to know how to respond if it's not understood what you're looking for. I could assume, but assumptions are often wrong.







~ cl-2nd_life

"You can't control the length of your life,
but you can control the width and depth."

~ Author unknown

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 7:30pm

you write: "I dont want to choose maybe that sounds greaty but that is the way I feel. "


Greedy, you mean?

Pages