x's should live in texas

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2006
x's should live in texas
11
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 9:57am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 11:20am

I think I posted to your gf in the other thread.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 3:16pm
How about getting an answering machine and letting it pick up when your ex calls?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 3:39pm
Just don't pick up when she calls. Assuming she's a normal person, she'll leave a message when she doesn't get you. If it was a true emergency, then she'd leave a message but then would also keep trying every number she had for you until she did reach you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 4:00pm
well the problem is i dont always pick up the phone someone in the house picks it up either the kids or gf if it was my choice i would check the call display and if i knew it was the x i wouldnt answer it. But i would like to tell x not to call the house phone unless there is an emergency and if there is something she needs to tell me she can leave a message on my cell and ill respond.. But i dont want gf to feel bad or think that im causing a war by telling x that this is how i want it... i totally understand gf though because i don't want her to be upset with me for something i can't control but i know she's not upset with me personally its just maybe she'll get sick of all this and not want to be together.. and like i said i'd do anything to keep us together because i love my gf a lot..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 7:32pm

wow... I read

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 9:02pm
well the thing is.. my gf doesnt really want me to confront the x because the x would likely tell my kids and my gf doesnt want to cause anything with the kids at all because she is very supporting to my kids ... i think there is a nice way to just say to x .. hey i dont usually use the house phone if you dont have an emergency just call my cell and leave a message and ill get back to you.. the thing is im not sure if its ever my oldest kid that's calling... but still i will do anything to stop it so ill tell my oldest the same thing and he can leave a message and ill get back to him.. whatever happens i just dont want to cause any problems with my gf cause she is very supportive and i love her lots, she would do anything for me and i would do the same for her, i just hate the lil things that come along like the x phoning.. we shouldnt be getting mad at something especially when its to do with any of our x's but i do see her point and i see my point and i actually cant stand the x calling either so we are both on the same page about this..... its hard enough dealing with when we have all our kids together like it would be with any couple.. i just hope she doesnt give up
and i dont want to make her distant from me because of an x that i can't stand or even talk to ...... its kinda nice we can both look at this and get advice thxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 9:16pm

"well the thing is.. my gf doesnt really want me to confront the x because the x would likely tell my kids and my gf doesnt want to cause anything with the kids at all because she is very supporting to my kids"


You should confront your ex if you feel that is the right thing to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-19-2006 - 12:36pm
Your entire post was about how this bothers your girlfriend, you didn't once indicate how you feel about it. If your ex's contact bothers you, then do something about it. The bottom line is that this is between you and your ex. You need to deal with her in a way that's acceptable to you, not your girlfriend. Dealing with people differently because someone else wants you to won't work. You need to be your own person, and treat people the way it feels right to you, not the way that feels right to someone else. The truth is, this girlfriend may or may not stay in the picture. Would you continue to deal with your ex the way your girlfriend wants you to if you weren't involved with her? You are going to be dealing with your ex for the rest of your life, you need to be doing that in a way that yours, not directed by someone else.


Dealing with people the way someone else wants you to rather than the way you prefer to will only cause problems for you and result in you resenting dealing with a situation in a way that doesn't feel right to you.







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"Ignoring the facts
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2006
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 8:03am
you said "Your entire post was about how this bothers your girlfriend, you didn't once indicate how you feel about it. "
well in my first email i did indicate how i felt about this all .. ...so you must of read it wrong or something because i said:
"The problems we are having is sometimes when all the kids are together its like a house full of kids and its kind of hard. And another problem is my kid's mother keeps calling all the time and its very "
The first line "the problem we are having!!" meaning both of us think its a problem... this is the only really problem that was have together living with each other and we just came here for pointers...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:44am

You said:


"I have a big problem.... "


"And another problem is my kid's mother keeps calling all the time and its very annoying and causes stress on us."



"It bothers my gf that my kids' mom has to call so much and it causes strain on us because even though i know she says it doesnt bother her that much after she calls my gf gets kind of silent and i know she's upset... "



"I said that i would talk to my kids mother and tell her that if its not an emergency to just leave a message on my cell so i dont have to talk so much but than gf feels that she is going to cause a war or x would do something. "



"i am willing to do anything to fix this situation but my gf doesnt want to cause problems either.."


"and i just dont want her to have to go through this because its not fair to her and i know its very hard on her"


Where are you in this?








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"

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