I love him but the sex is not good

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2006
I love him but the sex is not good
2
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 2:07pm

Hello--
I have been married for 15 years, we have two boys. The marriage is good, we are close emotionally and have fun together. We have a strong romantic connection. But the sex, which was never great, got even worse after our second was born four years ago. Sex is absolutely the last priority on his list, very much a chore, drugery, like any other chore. This has made me very unhappy. I not only want more sex -- and GOOD, sexy sex, not just ho-hum -- I want and need to feel desired.

We have been going to an actual sex therapist but things have not really turned around. I am SO depressed over this. I absolutely cannot imagine getting divorced because our sex life is not good (and almost non-existent) but I can't imagine staying in this for the rest of my life, either.

He has no physical problems, has been checked out. Sex just isn't that important to him and it never was.

Sometimes the thought, "Our marriage is a sham" pops into my head and makes me feel miserable. It's not a sham, not at all, there is a lot that is strong and good. But I just don't think I can do this forever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 2:47pm

Hi legg2006,


Wanting and needing a good physical relationship with your husband isn't trivial or unimportant; if it was unimportant, you two wouldn't be having a problem, right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 3:07am
Welcome to the board, Legg2006 ~


I have some questions:,/p>

  • How long has it been since you saw the sex therapist? How long did you see the therapist for? Did you continue seeing him/her as long as s/he recommended? What did the therapist think about your situation, did s/he feel your problem was irresolvable? What did s/he suggest?


    Thanks in advance for your answers ~ !






  • ~ cl-2nd_life

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    but you can control the width and depth."

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