Congratulations cl-2nd_life!
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| Thu, 11-30-2006 - 4:28pm |
Name:
Cl-2nd_life
Communities:
Problem Solving for Couples, Toxic Relationships
What brought you to L&S?
Early in January 2000, I saw an iVillage ad on TV. A few days later our first PC was hooked up, I looked up the site, and found the boards, and kept going back. Two weeks later I was asked to co-cl Problem Solving for Couples and have been there ever since.
How has your experience as a community leader affected your life?
Well, it's affected my work life as I'm constantly peeking in when I should be working ! ;-) All joking aside, it's made me a better person, I think, it's affected me in many ways. It's taught me how powerful simply understanding and sympathizing can be; sometimes when you're facing a relationship problem, just having somebody tell you you're not crazy or that they would feel the same way in your situation is huge in helping them feel better. The answers I give on the boards are what I really think and aren't always what the OP wants to hear. It's not always easy saying something you know may not be popular, but being honest and true to what I believe is important to me and it's carried over to make me more able to voice myself in real life. Thinking through problems and issues on the boards has helped me grow personally, by teaching me to think things through more logically and reasonably. I've learned to see and understand patterns and typical behaviors that are true in relationships - and people - in general (I've always loved behavior sciences!). It's helped me to work through my own problems more effectively by challenging me to "walk the talk"; it's easy to know the right way to deal with a problem with your husband, for instance, but it's quite another to actually deal with it in that rational, productive way instead of the emotional, unproductive way you'd really like to! Reading the differing viewpoints from those I come in contact with on the boards has made a big difference to me; learning, hearing the reasons behind differing viewpoints has changed my views on some issues entirely. Differing viewpoints serve to remind that there is more than one 'right' answer to any given problem, and that too, is good to bear in mind when dealing with the world at large.
A year or so ago, I was asked to help out on the Toxic Relationships when the board was without a CL, and I found myself struggling. I'd spent years on the Problem Solving board, but I didn't know how to deal with these new kinds of problems, often, I had no idea what to say or how to relate! After digging in and giving it the best I had, eventually I found my footing and learned my way around toxic relationships too. It was good for me to stretch and be faced with new problems and issues that were unfamiliar to me. Challenging yourself is a good thing, even when it's not comfortable - especially when it's not comfortable! IMO, that's where growth and learning come in. I'll admit in the beginning on Toxic, I couldn't wait for a new CL to be found so I could get the heck outta there, but by the time I was asked to accept the position full time, I was thrilled to say yes, it had gotten under my skin ~ there was no way could you tear me away!
What's your most memorable and/or entertaining experience as a CL?
I don't think I can pin it down to one experience. I find it incredible to get email from members who tell me I've affected their lives in a positive way, who thank me for helping them change their lives for the better. Hearing things like, "You'll never know how much you've done for me", sometimes as much as years after the fact, is incredibly rewarding. It's a great feeling to know you've made a difference to someone. Of course, there are others who tell you you're full of crap to keep it balanced ~ lol! I love the friends I've met and have become close with from the boards too. Something odd...I have a knack for remembering member names. A name on the board will look familiar, and I'll instantly *know* they've been there before, I check and sure enough, they have been there before -- once, in 2002. I can't tell you what I had for dinner last night, I struggle over my children's names sometimes (there are only two) but iv_sue64? Oh yes, I know her in an instant!
What are some of your offline hobbies and interests?
Running, shopping :), I love attending ballet, art galleries, concerts, etc., time with my husband, and nights out with friends.
Final thoughts?
iVillage has given me the chance to grow, to learn and to help others. iVillage offers a tremendous help to those who are looking for help, understanding, support, or who just need a place to vent. It's often the first place members look for help and it's often on iVillage that they learn about professional resources in their communities. I'm happy to help and I'm equally happy when I can offer them other boards or suggest professional resources that may give them the more focused help and/or support they need - it's about getting them where they can get the best help. I'm very proud of the members of "my" boards and the outstanding insight and support they provide in their replies. I've not found another website that offers boards that compare with the quality of the iVillage Love and Sex boards, and I'm very proud to be a part of such a quality team.



Congratulations on being CL of the month 2nd_life!
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
Sorry for the long-delayed response, I planned to answer after I finished the others, forgot and it slipped down the board on me!
~ cl-2nd_life
"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"
~ Author unknown
"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"