Should I stay or go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Should I stay or go?
6
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 11:26am

Hello,

My situation is that I just started dating this guy a couple of weeks ago, and we seemed to connect right away, which is wonderful! He seems like everything I am looking for and we are both blown away that we have only known each other for a short time.

So the problem is, his best friend moved away just before we got together, and last night he was on the phone with him, and was talking about either going out there for vacation or moving out there for a year or so!!!! I know we haven't been together long at all, but I was really dissapointed to hear him say that. Is he trying to tell me something?

I don't know now if I should back off now because of this, because I don't want to invest time and my feelings with this guy if he might take off in a year or so.

Please help!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 1:01pm
You've only been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, and that's waaaay to soon to start asking him if he's going to be around in a year or so, etc.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 1:38pm

Hi Kimbirdy,

Thanks for your advice!!

I am not planning on talking about this to him or asking if he will be around in a year, I just wasn't sure if I should continue this or not, knowing that there may be a chance I get hurt later on down the road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 12:55am








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:13am
Cmaries25, Kim's right, this is way too early to be worried about what might happen in the future. It's not only too early to worry about getting hurt down the road, but it's inappropriate to be thinking along those lines. Face it, most relationships don't work out, since that's the case, if you want to make sure you don't get hurt, then you shouldn't get involved with anyone ever. Or, you can look at relationships as a learning experience, as a chance to get to know someone, learn some new things, not only about them, but about life and about yourself along the way. Sure it hurts when relationships end, but that doesn't mean they weren't worth the effort, and the only way to learn what you want and need in a relationship is to meet people, date and eliminate those who don't quite fit the bill. A few weeks into a relationship is hardly the beginning of anything, you wouldn't know if someone was right or not until you'd been with them for a year or so. Don't look so far ahead, just enjoy what you've got right now and let tomorrow take care of itself. Read:


Tools For Starting a Relationship

And the book:

"Are You the One For Me?" by Barbara DeAngelis

The book will teach you a lot about dating and help you in how you approach it, I know it did that for me!







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:23pm

Hi Cl,

I am so surprised you remembered me!
Yes, after 2 1/2 years, I finally ended it with my ex. It wasn't easy, but I knew I couldn't marry him and spend my life with him. We were so close, he bought a house for us and everything!! But just before I knew I couldn't move in there, it didn't feel right, so I broke it off. SOooo much happened that I couldn't see any future anymore, so I broke it off. It was really tough, but I know I made the right decision for me, which is the most important thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 11:58pm
Recognizing that it isn't right for you is important, for sure. I'm a little worried though that you're in danger of repeating the problem. This new relationship is very, very early - just weeks old, and you're already worried about what might or might not happen in the future. You've got to take the time It seems that you're looking ahead at commitment before you've had enough time to know anything about him at all.


Take your time, learn about him, enjoy today and make your decisions when you've spent enough time to make decisions. Tuck away the fact that he might move, and keep that in mind if your relationship continues, but it shouldn't make any difference to today.


Best of luck, Cmaries!







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"