I Am So Ticked Off!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
I Am So Ticked Off!!!!
3
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 6:17pm
I am so angry I could scream. My MIL lives all by herself about 1/2 hour
from our home. My DH is the only child living in the same state, so we
try to do what we can. Anyway he wanted our daughter to go to her house
after school and help her decorate her tree. Our DD goes to school quite
close so it was no problem for her to get there after school. He said he would
pick her up when he got home from work. He never even called his mother to
confirm this and our daughter was on her way there when he called and she was not
home. Thankfully by the time she got there my MIL was home, but of course it
was my fault for not calling her. Now he just calls me from work to tell
me to pick her up because he is going somewhere. Mind you, somewhere not
important. I already had to take our son somewhere for 2 1/2 hours, needed
to cook dinnet, etc. etc. and I was pretty angry about having to pick her up and
I voiced that to him. His response was "poor you". I am so pissed off right now
because I don't get a minute to myself. He goes to the gym two nights a week and
does his own personal work on the weekends which brings him away from the home.
Basically it's just one more added thing to do to my list of a million, while
his only household "responsibility" is to take out the trash two nights a week
which he has recently delegated to my son. ARGHHHHHH, my blood is boiling right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 11:40pm

Welcome back Riat2006 ~ I recognized you as soon as I peeked in on the board. I just got in and won't be able to get to your post for a bit yet, but I wanted to provide the links to your previous posts as soon as I could so that others who might be able to get to your post before I do can get a better feel for your situation and history and as a result be better able to offer thoughts and suggestions that fit your actual situation and can be more helpful to you.

You might read through your old posts too, many find reading their old posts very helpful and enlightening; they're able to see situations more clearly than they could when they were in the middle of them and are able to see improvement, or lack of, in their situations. I hope you find it as enlightening as many do:

Need to Know If I am Wrong
RE: "Am I wrong" - Just Want to Vent







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 1:50am
Huge hugs, Riat. You already know your husband is indifferent, controlling, uncaring, disrespectful and, while you didn't respond to my question about the abuse articles I linked you to, I think you already know he's abusive too.


I completely understand your anger, your frustration and your feeling of being overwhelmed while he does what he wants, at his convenience. But, you know that's how it is with him and you know it's not going to change. Yes, if your marriage were a partnership you would have equal consideration, appreciation and work equally to keep your home family, finances and home running smoothly. But you don't have a partnership, you have a dictatorship. He's the emperor, you're the slave. It doesn't matter how much needs to be done, you're expected to do it all, and as far as he's concerned, you shouldn't complain about it.


Is this right? No. Is it a good environment for your children to grow up in? No. Is it a good place for you to be? No.


A few charts for you to look at:

Rship Components - Healthy & Unhealthy
Is Your Relationship Healthy?

You should consider posting on the Dealing With Domestic Abuse board too, you'll find an understanding and supportive group who what you're dealing with because they have been or are there too.

I know your post was just a vent, Riat, but as long as you stay this is how it will be. What do you think?







~ cl-2nd_life

"Experience is what you get
When you don't get what you want"

~ Author unknown








"Ignoring the facts
does not change the facts"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 5:49pm
Venting is always good and I hoped that helped you a little. I'm sorry for what happened. I think it is important for you to discuss with him that you need time to yourself every week whether it be a fun class, working out, or even just going someplace of your own to get away from everything. It is important as a wife and mother to have personal time so that you can be the best that you can.